State of Mind

Today is the first day I took a break from painting. I "rested" with gemstones, taking a much-needed recharge, at the same time using transmitter stones. I had an intense lucid dream. Afterwards, I began to think of all the paths of interest I've followed in my life thus far, reflected on how they were aspects of past-lives trying to lead me back to remembering myself in this life, and I began to think about my earliest memories...which are of me painting as a child and thinking about Van Gogh.

Then I remember when started painting again in 2006 (hadn't really painted in 10 years up to that point aside from painted photographs). I immediately began to paint large, and at the time I listened to music when I painted: to keep me going, to keep my mood up during long, long hours or difficult passages, to keep the energy flowing. However, I found that music influenced me too much emotionally and took my focus off the painting. For example, a certain song made me feel so powerful..yet when i'd stand back and look at what I painted I'd be disappointed by what was there. I realized the emotion of the music was taking me places, almost altered states, as painting can do as well, yet it was taking away from the outcome of the painting sessions rather than adding to.

Now I paint with no music. The painting is the joy itself, and I ride out all the ups and downs and push through...even during the 12th hour of exhaustion and onto the 15th. While I feel in trance alot of the time, I am also very alert and present, and I feel one foot in this world and one beyond the veil. It's a very natural place for me, and it's how I live much of my days, but a relatively new experience during painting. I hear the words of advice "paint what you see" alot, and I pay great attention to color choice and what is happening between my eyes and brush, yet it feels like the painting is painting itself. Being self taught, i feel a huge difference in the way i paint now, and it's become an intensely meditative experience. Meditation doesn't mean it's all "peace and light", it means there is intense work being done within and nowhere to run from it. This is what I'm experiencing every day for 15 hours each day for the last month and a half. I am also feeling the presence of the "Guardians" of the Tarot, or "The Council" as I call them, and I'll write more about this later.

I have a piece in this Group Art Show !!

Saturday, September 17 at 8:00pm - September 18 at 1:00am
Location
Everybody Bikes
1352 Irving Street
San Francisco, California 94122
Created By
Hiro Hayashi
More Info
"ALL TOGETHER NOW"
Saturday, Sept 17, 2011
8pm ~ 1AM
Location: Everybody Bikes
1352 Irving Street
(btwn 14 and 15 ave)
San Francisco, Ca 94122
415-682-4439

Description: "All TOGETHER NOW" is a group show representing all different kinds of artworks that different types of people have created. No theme. No Rules. No medium restrictions. It is going to be a room full of different types of artworks from illustrations, paintings, sculptures to prints. Also we will be having live music playing by Wild Hearts Can't Be Broken and Ghost Town Jenny.

ARTISTS:

Andrew Bower
John Fox Haag
Kyana Holzman
Bopp Killer
Waterbug
Amber
MOUSE
Lauren
Andrew Luck
Jonathan Le
Danimal
DURBIN
Frank Pastor
Pete Warren
Julie Seltzer
CHRISTINA
Kat Martin
Natan Van Den Heever
Paul Kalcic
Mary Kalcic
LiLJAPAN
Melissa Davidson
Michael Berninger
Sarah V
Kimberly Larson
Bradley Platz
Karyn Crisis

Music By:
Wild Hearts Can't Be Broken
Ghost Town Jenny

DRINKS!!!...FOOD!!!..LIVE MUSIC!!!...AND ART!!!!!!!!!!

Tarot Paintings In-Progress

Here's a quick peek at some of the Tarot Paintings for my October 1st show...they are all still in-progress and not yet finished!

You Are Invited To...

I've been mailing out special invites to my Tarot Show! I have always wanted a show at SR2 Gallery, and I've always wanted to craft my own Tarot deck, AND, my show just happens to be during my favorite month..October. Thanks to my husband, Davide, who arranged this show for me while he was getting his upper arm tattooed by KC Angel at Sacred Rose Tattoo.

Visions

After my Tarot show, I have to complete a painting for the Ouija Group show which will be at Articulated Gallery in November. I already have my concept worked out for this, so I just have to photograph it and get started. Then I feel guided to (well, complete another large "portrait" that I began a month ago) continue painting large-scale, but instead of painting largely "portraits" as I have been doing, to depict more rituals and initiations from my personal experiences. I think it's natural I gravitated towards "portraits" to begin, since I had to decide Who these Witches are, Who these Shaman are, and Which style of painting I wanted to use. Now that I'm in the swing of my style and technique, I need to manifest more action within each painting. Until this point I've managed to capture an action (dealing with spirit attachments, the breath of life, calling in the 4 quarters, generating energy from the palm chakras, etc), in a sort of cropped freeze-frame. This was the result of focusing so much on my intent...now it's time to show those actions in context; in their surroundings, depicting the spirit-side of things that can't be seen by the "naked" eye, etc. Since these large scale paintings will be so much more detailed, I also plan to continue painting on a smaller scale, as with my Tarot show. And of course I need to continue to paint the rest of my Tarot deck, which I plan to print in its entirety when completed.

Guiding Forces

I'm being guided to "update" certain Tarot cards. Not in the sense that I am "updating" the concept; the core stays the same, but rather through imagery I am bringing the concept more to the center in a currently readable way. Language and symbols are "dated" ideas, and they conjured "dated" concepts based upon the culture and it's affectations of the time period. I'm being led to understand the Tarot beyond the symbolism on the card; the way I've learned to see beyond the words of a person I'm reading clairvoyantly or whose body organs I am communicating with during a Reiki Healing session. The words and the outward appearance can sometimes mislead. I've found that in learning about Tarot, there are cards which have been misread by people no matter what time period they are speaking to or being used in. So with my deck, I would say my clairvoyance is taking me to the core of each card. Here is where, in updated symbolism (or symbolism that speaks to me and my inner language) I am "updating" cards with codes that carry the information in a way that speaks to me the story. "The Fool", "The Magician", "The Chariot", for starters, I've been led to rework in subtle or not-so-subtle ways.

Tarot Tarot Tarot

As anyone who makes a living with their art knows, any setback can quickly snowball. Happily, my cat is doing so much better. Buy currently I am behind on several leather orders, an album artwork commission, new leather for my etsy shop...but I'm managing to stay in good keeping with my Tarot paintings. Thanks to late-nite espresso from my Italian mother-in-law's "mocha" brewer, I'm able to work the late nite/early morning hours as well. By tomorrow night I will have a total of 10 of the 22 Tarot paintings in various stages of process. The painting is going so well, it's the drawing that slows me down. As I've learned, though, the drawing is truly the most important step going in, so that foundation must be done with care. Sometime before October 1st I plan to have my new website up and running, record more vocals for the new songs Davide's written, and plan my painting for the Ouija-theme show at Articulated Gallery in November. Whew.