Through My Eyes

I've made a commitment to myself and my art to fully delve into painting this year. I should say, visual art of all sorts, but specifically I want to take my painting to the next level. Since I made this commitment and started moving things in life to accommodate a lifestyle where my focus is on painting, my mind is flooded with ideas and concrete concepts and series. I decided that seeing an idea is not enough when I try to paint it but can't get it where I want in terms of technicality. So, every painting must really count this year. As I'm working on pieces now, if I can't get something to look the way I want I am studying techniques of the Old Masters, studying other artists to learn how to paint something at the level I want now instead of "waiting" for that technique to develop on its own. I'm already seeing my paintings jump to a new level, so I am excited to see how far I can push myself. Mostly I am focusing on oil painting which is my passion, but I am also exploring inks and acrylic. I have several series of works that I want to do in completely different styles. I will be keeping my blog updated with progress images and reports from my new studio.

Circle the Carrion

There was a reason I left the music business when 2005 came to an end. It had to do with the bullshit, the horse crap, all the pressures heaped onto musicians by labels and fans and press, all the milestones of success that musicians hope to achieve and measure themselves against....in other words, all the things that have nothing to do with music and everything to do with the business side of things. I'm someone who always has goals, I'm hardest on myself, I demand a lot from myself, and I decided I didn't need to spend the rest of my life trying to fulfill the demands of others. I want to live.

I strive for balance in life, whether or not I can always achieve it is another thing. I spend alot of time in darkness, and therefore I send alot of time in light. I spend time researching topics I know nothing about, as well as researching more material on subjects I'm interested in.I spend time trying to understand, I spend time putting myself in the shoes of others to gain perspective, I spend time practicing peace and acceptance I spend time letting my rage burn and burn. As a business woman I know that the business side of music is a part of the game, but I think there should be some balance within that beast, that machine.

I've decided I deserve to be the owner of my time, and to do with it what I want. At the end of 2005 I wanted to leave the music biz and let it burn itself into a pile of ashes. For it to take its competitive, compulsive self-absorbed self and suck its own ass. I got tired of interviews asking me how I feel about other women in the music biz "making it" bigger than Crisis made it, I got tired of how these people acted that my only purpose in music was to be "the only" woman in heavy music. I was fed up with fat lazy booking agents who issued false promises, playing with other bands who had set lists of all their stage moves printed out while at the same time calling themselves "self made," and I thought Crisis and I deserved much much more...not just because we were one of the first metal bands with a female singer, not just because Crisis introduced alot of emotional landscapes not previously heard in metal, but because we continued to be innovators, hard working warriors offering something creative, profound, and even weird..and most importantly, something authentic and dangerous.

In this modern time where extreme music can now be purchased at Wal Mart along with pre-packaged drum sets and guitars, and people can get voice lessons to learn how to scream and everyone who was into karaoke decided they too can be rockstars by following the formula, music has truly lost a lot of edge.

That's not necessarily why I left the business, that's just my opinion of the scene.
I left because I decided I deserved better than alot of false promises, I deserved better than "big names" in music calling to ask me for dates and inviting me on their buses for drinks but not helping out in terms of tours or shows or something that really mattered. So many "closet" Karyn Crisis fans sucking my dick, telling me what big supporters they were but not putting their support where there pursed lips were. Tired of bullshit, tired of being the mysterious oddity people wanted to get close to ..like some piece of art in a museum they secretly worshiped, and studied, and imitated and plagiarized..and then denied knowledge of to others.
When Crisis opened for Kittie and Otep on tour, all journalists wanted to ask me was how I felt about other women in music getting big, how it felt to be on that tour. Well, I've always been outspoken about how I feel "the more the merrier" in terms of women in music. I've stated many a time that it will take time for women to be accepted in metal, and in the meanwhile let 'em all in, because there exists, in the male bands, plenty who suck, plenty who are genius, some who aren't in top shape, some who are innovators and some who are sheep. So it's natural to be the same for the quality of female musicians.
But what a shit question to ask me over and over. I got the vibe that for those journalists my only value was to be the "first" woman in metal, and since there are other women in metal now I'm obsolete. Further, it was never my intention to be the "first", it just happened that way. I never meant to be a weird, indefinable vocalist that no one yet can imitate, it just happened that way. I never meant to scare people with the power I can summon on stage and I never meant for people to think I was weak because I didn't carry around an ego after shows, instead I was approachable and kind..just being me, just being natural, except for the occasions where some asshole grabbed my ass and I had to twist his balls off or break a nose.

And in return for my support of other women, I didn't ask for reciprocation and I sure didn't get it. For years Crisis fans told me how angry they were that Kittie told them they never heard of Crisis in person, in radio interviews, even on the east coast. When Crisis toured with Kittie however, their parents and friends told us many stories about what big Crisis fans their daughters were, from the beginning, and how they were all fans. Their manager told us, before that tour, that the girls were taking guitar lessons on tour and getting better. Industry people told us that they didn't even play their own instruments on their first album..other people were playing those recorded parts. And this is the category I'm stuffed into just because I'm a female? Opening for some kids who are too afraid to admit that I was their inspiration?
And Otep..I met so many people involved in putting that band together, they told me all the dirty little secrets, like Capitol Records wanted to develop a female fronted Korn, so they got an independent a/r rep to hire/fire band members, to write songs, and put that band together. "evil" J told Crisis that he lived on the east coast during Crisis' reign there and what a fan he was. No surprise there. On the tour we did, they had all their stage moves written out the same, night after night "otep gives crowd finger, j scans crowd, otep pulls out her hair", and oh, there are tons and tons of vocal effects pouring off that stage. They do exist. And they call themselves "self-made"? What's the difference here between the Backstreet Boys and otep? They were put together the same way.

You should've seen the otep singer screaming at the kittie singer when we all had to play on a small stage with no barrier between musicians and fans. That closeness I loved, right in the crowd's faces. I loved the challenge, the unpredictable things that can happen. But otep was screaming at the kittie singer that it was her fault she had to play on a small stage, blah blah. I remember thinking, What are you scared of girl? That people can see your stage moves typed out? That you might not be well-rehearsed in the event that someone in the crowd does something unexpected? Sure, both bands have moved onto imitating other trends, trying to fit in somewhere..politics, fashion,somewhere they can attain credibility.
And this rehearsed, studied crap is the pile I get shoved into because we share the same gender? We definitely don't share the same views on authenticity, music, creativity..I don't have to study other people and other trends to make myself in their image. To each her own, but fuck, don't assume I'm the same shade of fake.

Before I left, I heard "Don't quit, you're just about to get your due, people are finally waking up to Karyn Crisis," blah blah. I didn't get into music to be famous, and I certainly wasn't going to hang around just in case it was about time for whomever these people were who were about to give me my due. I didn't get into music because I heard some other woman growling and decided I wanted to be like her. I got into music because it called to me like a siren song since I was a child. I was a loner, on the outside of everything and everyone. I started working with guitar and bass and a 4 track when I was in middle school. It was how I found my voice, raw and clumsy, screaming alone in a room in NYC, guitar across me, plugged into an amp. It took me a few days to let out a scream, and I was so introverted and shy I had my friends wait behind the door until I could do it on my own. I had no women to imitate, I was just letting out all my horror in a primal scream of empowerment. It was real, embarrassing, powerful, frightening, and something to behold.

I know who I am, I know my worth. My worth exists outside of praise, compliments, record sales, soundscan figures, ratings. For me, music is about risk...and I take it, balls out. But the big-talkers?

So, when I decided to make an album in 2008, I called the one person who had encouraged me to not give up on singing, to keep going, because, in his words, "the music scene really needed me and was awaiting my return."
Originally, we were to make an album together for us, but it grew into something bigger as he became part of a newly formed label who wanted to sign me. It became the Karyn Crisis Solo Album, and plans started to form that entailed bringing Davide into the project to write songs and play guitars, while my other friend would take care of the recording and electronic experimentation. Things started off well enough, but things definitely needed complexity that I hoped would be worked out.
Despite my excitement, in the end I realized the songs were not complex enough, but the potential was there to step things up a notch..the potential was there and had been realized in one of the last songs written. While Davide and I wanted to take things in a new direction, our friend didn't, and in the end refused to work with me, because he said Davide and I weren't capable of writing the songs we needed, weren't capable of making the right decisions, and he was the producer, so his direction was more important than mine.

So, for my solo album, for a record deal with only my name on it, I was to be told what direction I should take creatively. Somehow, his ideas were completely different from mine, even though I had given him a list of bands that I considered inspiration for this album's direction. Needless to say, we parted ways, and I spent one month in Italy travelling with Davide before coming back to NoCal to start a band with him, continue writing songs, and live our life.

I was looking forward to seeing my friends again. Many of them were super supportive of me making an album. They were telling me "the music scene needs you, your voice is missed, so many people would love to make music with you" and all sorts of lovely compliments. So when we arrived and began to look for band members, I thought I could count on them to help me out. Instead, silence..then "everyone's in a band already, no one I know has time, I like the music but I'm busy, I know a drummer you could hire for the album, but no one's available to be in another band, I can't think of anyone." Suddenly all those people wanting to play with me are nowhere to be found. Then there were the interviews with the guys who tell me what their demands are instead of asking what the goals of the Karyn Crisis Band are.

And I'm left thinking.."Do I really want to do this again?" I hear a resounding "yes" whenever I think about making music, and I'm not interested in taking "no" for an answer. However, I'm not sure how I feel about working with musicians again. So far I'm not impressed or inspired about people other than Davide, because I'm not so interested in dealing with flakiness.

My life has been full of suffering and darkness, and now that I've found ways to transcend the suffering and still learn, now that I can be in the darkness but no longer touched by it, I feel charged, poised, and empowered to create again sonically.

I know that since I left the music biz I feel truly free, and this winged creature is not looking to be caged anytime soon.

Life is precious and fleeting, and my life will be lived on my terms. I'm not willing to live life on terms other than this, to beg for opportunities or chances, life is abundant. I am comfortable knowing that my life's path has a plan for me, that there are certain things I may have control over in my life and certain ones I won't, that it's all part of the learning my soul aches for...but I also know that I have faith in myself regardless of whether anyone else does.

We heard a quote the other day" Experience is what you get when you don't get what you want" by a guy who's writing a book about living while he dies of cancer.

I love this quote, because I think the journey is more valuable than the goal. I think experience has value, as does getting what you want. I've had plenty of both.
i've had plenty of experience lately, now it's time to get what I want.
Music will be made, and I can't wait to see what we will be able to conjure as a duo.
For now, it's Davide and I, and that's perfect for me.

Karyn Crisis interview on Scratch The Surface Webzine

http://scratchthesurface-webzine.blogspot.com/


MONDAY, 13 JULY 2009


Interview with Karyn Crisis


In the entire history of modern music, few bands can claim to have successfully attained a level of artistic innovation and versatility without compromising one iota of their integrity like New Yorkers Crisis. Throughout the early 90’s the experimental metal/hardcore act have gained a cult status in the underground realms of extreme music due to their ferocious and genre-defying onslaught and the disturbing and intimidating voice of Karyn Crisis. Sadly, three years ago while they were writing their fifth record, the band has announced against all expectations their intentions to put the band on halt for an indefinite period of time.
For the second time in their career, Crisis has split-up abruptly with their band members reaffirming their will to pursue other artistic interests.
After the split, vocalist Karyn Crisis moved away from the music business and dedicated herself to different forms of art like painting and photography and even launched her own women's clothing line called Exorsister.
Just recently, Karyn have made public that she was preparing her solo debut album following four albums with Crisis and several participations with other artists. There’s a certain curiosity to find out why Karyn Crisis only now have decided to embark on a solo journey. The first thing we’ve enquired Karyn when we approached her by e-mail was exactly that, why now?

“When I left Crisis, it was to embark on a journey within. My lyrics have always dealt with this concept, the actions it takes to carry each journey out, what the experiences are on the way to finding a catharsis, and documenting the war… in others words, facing one’s demons, pain, trying to understand them and gain some knowledge with which to carry forward and build a better ‘me’. This time, I wanted to find a process that would break through the vicious cycle in life of receiving wound, trying to heal wound, receiving wound again. The creative process alone wasn’t enough to bring me peace at the time. I needed to go much deeper, to test my limits and capabilities as one does on a vision quest. For the majority of the time after I left Crisis, I wanted nothing to do with music, the music business, I stopped going to shows, and I felt at the time that I never wanted to sing again. I equated that world with disappointment and pain and was no longer interested in ‘trying to make it music’ or pursue a life of such sacrifice. I began to ask myself, before the hiatus, «can I ever stop sacrificing and just be? Am I going to spend the rest of my life hoping that at some point I’ll make enough money to be able to have the life experiences I want? Will I ever have the time to do other things I want, like painting and being free from working for someone else»? I was also asking why I was dealing with certain idiots, a booking agency had ripped Crisis off for a good amount of money, we had a manager who was working instead to promote his own band and doing shit for Crisis, and I just realized I didn’t want to deal with fucking morons anymore. There was no point to be congenial and pleasant for the sake of dysfunctional relationships. And interviewers, stop asking me how I feel about, in your opinion, other female fronted bands that are more successful than Crisis and instead ask me about my lyrics, my stage performance, my voice, my vision. I had enough and I decided I deserved much more. At the time of the hiatus, I decided the time was now to make the changes I want, and I wanted my own space, I wanted to step out of the rat race, and I wanted to explore others parts of life. I wanted change, and the change had to begin with me. And after that, suddenly I felt compelled to make music, even though I wasn’t sure at first if I wanted to. It felt like something I was supposed to do with urgency. Everything I do I do with my sense of integrity.”

The album is currently being written by Karyn and Davide Tiso, guitar player of Italian experimentalists Ephel Duath. How did you and Davide get together to write the record and what’s like working with him?

“A common friend of ours introduced us because he knew I was looking for the right people to make my album with. Meeting Davide was fate, a magical once-in-a-lifetime experience. In many ways, personal and creative, we are symbiots, we complete each other. Working with him is exciting, because he’s an incredible songwriter and guitar player who’s always pushing his limits and arriving in fantastic new places. He’s a sonic painter with a dark, haunting, emotive palette. There seems to be nothing he can’t do, and hearing what he creates opens new worlds for me. He is super focused, has an incredible understanding of music, and works fast while at the same time creating profound passages. His songs are more stories, journeys, which is what can also be said about my lyrics and vocal style. What I’m really excited about is that his sense of rhythm is just as fucked up as mine, yet distinct, so as I work my way vocally into his songs, I’m treading uncharted territory, the unknown. At first, the plan was for him to the guitarist and songwriter for the album, but soon enough I told him I wouldn’t want to play the songs live without him. He’s the soul behind those notes and beats, and it would be sad for someone else to be playing them. So then, the plan became not for us to develop my solo album, but for us to create a new band together, the Karyn Crisis Band. He decided that not only would he join me as partner in this creative pursuit, but he’d also join me in day to day life, and we married.”

Do you have other musicians lined-up to play on the record?

“Still looking, we have musicians we like prepared to work session for the album recording, but we’d rather hold out to find the right people who want to continue on as the touring band.”

Where does the new material fit in your discography?
Are there any obvious points of comparison with Crisis or you’re touching new things you somehow couldn’t explore with the band? What can we expect from it?

“It’s a new beginning! Comparisons to Crisis are unlikely, except for my voice, I suppose. Vocally I’m taking up where I left off with ‘Like Sheep Led to Slaughter’, which saw me stretching my voice in new ways anyway. Sonically, musically Davide’s style and finesse are quite different, but have a darkness, a haunting beauty that makes sense for my vocal style. Similarly, his guitar playing is a departure from his band, Ephel Duath. Yet each of us has strong, distinct, unique styles which are our signatures, and carry over into this new music. So, you can expect something difficult to describe.”

Is there any pressure to deliver a strong work knowing how relevant and influential Crisis had become in the underground music scene?

“The pressure to deliver a strong work comes from within us and is not dictated by our histories in music. Everything I do I do with a sense of purpose and integrity that comes from within me. Some people are born angry, others become angry in reaction to their environment. Some people are born with drive to create, even if that creation and expression is not understood by the majority of people, and regardless of positive/negative feedback. I’m born angry, born driven to do things my way, and it’s a mechanism that is internal. Davide is much the same.”

So when is the record due for release? Have you already started to conceive ideas for an album name?

“There’s not a release date yet, it all hinges on when we begin the studio process.”

Crisis never got the chance of completing their fifth record that was in the making before the split-up. Do you think that record will ever see the light of day?

“No.”

More info at: www.myspace.com/karyncrisisband
Photos by: Davide Tiso
PUBLISHED BY SCRATCHTHESURFACE AT 06:58 0 COMMENTS
LABELS: INTERVIEWS, KARYN CRISIS

Karyn Crisis Interview in DECIBEL

Interview: Karyn Crisis
Posted July 7 by Jeanne F.
http://decibelmagazine.com/Content.aspx?ncid=315473 (for full interview)

When NYC’s mystical metal and hardcore hybrid known as Crisis broke up in 2006 after 13 years together, singer Karyn Crisis firmly believed she’d never make another note of music again in her life. The letters "WTF" seemed ever so appropriate. This was a performer whose vocal calisthenics could turn the Matterhorn into kitty litter, and who would work the stage like the Terminator on judgment day. Her catharsis ripped shit to shreds. And she was cashing in her chips. WTF?

So it was with a combination of relief and giddy excitement that the Deciblog received news that the viciously charismatic Karyn Crisis was returning to music with a new project called the Karyn Crisis Band. This is even better news for any unemployed musician: Crisis and her partner, guitarist/songwriter Davide Tiso, have opened auditions to players all over the world via the band’s myspace page. The Deciblog checked in with Karyn to chat about the end of Crisis, the bullshit of the business, her musical rebirth with the Karen Crisis Band, how to properly respond to a crowd member who cries, “Show us your tits,” and her treacherous dreadlocks.




In an old interview, you said that you “seriously doubt[ed]” that you’d get into music after the demise of Crisis. What changed? How did you decide it was time to embark on a new musical project?

When I left Crisis, it was to embark on a journey within. My lyrics have always dealt with this concept; the actions it takes to carry each journey out, what the experiences are on the way to finding a catharsis, and documenting the war… In other words, facing one’s demons, pain, trying to understand them and gain some knowledge with which to carry forward and build a better “me.” This time, I wanted to find a process that would break through the vicious cycle in life of receiving wound, trying to heal wound, receiving wound again. The creative process alone wasn’t enough to bring me peace at the time. I needed to go much deeper to test my limits and capabilities as one does on a vision quest.

For the majority of the time after I left Crisis, I wanted nothing to do with music, the music business, I stopped going to shows, and I felt at the time that I never wanted to sing again. I equated that world with disappointment and pain and was no longer interested in “trying to make it in music” or pursue a life of such great sacrifice. I began to ask myself, before the hiatus, “Can I ever stop sacrificing and just me? Am I going to spend the rest of my life hoping that at some point I’ll make enough money to be able to have the life experiences I want? Will I ever have the time to do other things I want, like painting and being free from working for someone else?” I was also asking why I was dealing with certain idiots; a booking agent had ripped Crisis off for a good amount of money, we had a manager who was working instead to promote his own band and doing shit for Crisis, and I just realized I didn’t want to deal with fucking morons anymore. There was no point to be congenial and pleasant for the sake of dysfunctional relationships. And interviews… stop asking me how I feel about, in your opinion, other female-fronted bands who are more successful than Crisis and instead ask me about my lyrics, my stage performance, my voice, my vision. I had enough and decided I deserved so much more.

At the time of the hiatus I decided the time was now to make the changes I want, and I wanted my own space, I wanted to step out of the rat race, and I wanted to explore other parts of life. I wanted change, and the change had to begin with me. And after that, suddenly I felt compelled to make music, even though I wasn’t sure at first if I wanted to. It felt like something I was supposed to do with urgency. Everything I do I do with my sense of integrity.

Tell us about the Karyn Crisis Band. What did the preliminary jams sessions with Davide Tiso sound like?

A common friend introduced us, after I told him I wanted to make a solo album. Meeting Davide was fate, a magical once-in-a-lifetime experience. In many ways, personal and creative, we are symbiots, we complete each other. Working with him is exciting because he’s an incredible songwriter and guitar player who’s always pushing his limits and arriving in fantastic new places. He’s a sonic painter with a dark, haunting, emotive palette. There seems to be nothing he can’t do and hearing what he creates opens new worlds for me. He is super-focused, has an incredible understanding of music, and works fast while at the same time creating profound passages. His songs are more like stories, journeys, which is what can also be said about my lyrics and vocal style. What I’m really excited about is that his sense of rhythm is just as fucked-up as mine, yet distinct, so as I work my way vocally into his songs, I’m treading uncharted territory, the unknown.

At first the plan was for him to be the guitarist and songwriter for the album, but soon enough I told him I wouldn’t want to play the songs live without him. He’s the soul behind those notes and beats, and it would be sad for someone else to be playing them. So then the plan became not for us to develop my solo album, but for us to create a new band together, the Karyn Crisis Band. He decided that not only would he join me as a partner in this creative pursuit, but he’d also join me in day-to-day life, and we married.



Your lyrics and delivery have always been straight from the gut, very passionate, and even gruesome at times. Is the KCB going to remain a vehicle for releasing that energy?

Definitely. The cadence of my lyrics morph depending on where I am at the present moment, but no matter what the subject matter, I think they are always identifiably “me.”

How is the KCB different from Crisis? I'm guessing most people will want to know if this is a sort of Crisis 2.0.

KCB is a new beginning. Comparisons to Crisis are unlikely, except for my voice, I suppose. Vocally, I’m taking up where I left off with Like Sheep Led to Slaughter, which saw me stretching my voice in new ways anyway. Sonically, musically, Davide’s style and finesse are quite different, but have a darkness, a haunting beauty that makes sense for my vocal style. Similarly, his guitar playing is a departure from his band, Ephel Duath. Yet each of us has strong, distinct, unique styles, which are our signatures, and carry over into this new music. So you can expect something difficult to describe.

You put a call out through myspace for musicians interested in auditioning for your new band. Why did you decide to open up the auditions to basically the entire world?

To find some new blood beyond the musicians we already know.

What kind of musicians are you looking for? Like, if I were to audition, what should be on my resume?

Touring experience, history in bands, some knowledge-from-experience of the way the music biz machine works, some knowledge of your own strengths and weaknesses.

Do you plan to record a full-length album and tour?

Yes we are writing a full-length and we want to tour as much as possible!

If you were to name a few bands that you’d consider inspirations for the KCB sound, who would they be?

Music and vocals, for us, are definitely not inspired by other bands. In fact, when Davide and I were exchanging ideas at first through email, he’d ask for a color, a short story, some idea or concept for him to create a riff/song around. Music, for us, is meditative in the sense that we are open to the spirits, the aether, and follow those vespers, rather than try to fit into a genre by copying bands.

You’re an absolute inspiration to women in extreme music. People literally didn’t think that a woman could produce that kind of fire and rage so it was extremely satisfying when you got up there and flattened all those misconceptions. What kind of shit did you come up against when you were first starting out?

The metal and hardcore scenes were much more hardcore in those days. Fights would break out easily at shows, and crowds were tougher. Being the only woman in heavy music that male-dominated crowds were seeing/hearing onstage, inevitably I received some “Show us your tits” comments, to which I always replied much nastier, dirtier insults that turned the crowd laughing against the guy who shouted at me. There were a few guys who tried to grab my crotch or threaten me (on stages that were low to the ground, where they were able to get right up in my face), but in those few cases, I used my mic as a weapon and broke a nose, crushed a cheek, and in once case the crowd tackled a guy and ripped all but his jeans off and threw him out of the club. No matter what people thought when Crisis began a set onstage, by the end of the set they showed much respect. Whether or not they understood our strange music, they definitely could indentify with the rage, so there is where we connected.



What albums have you been listening to lately?

Ephel Duath, Colle Der Fomento, Russian Circles, Cult of Luna, Behemoth.

Has your hair ever been responsible for any injuries?

I’ve had a few people tell me that I gave them a welt on the face with my dreads, and I knocked one guy out for the rest of the set when I stage-dove onto him.



If you think you’ve got what it takes to jam with the KCB, email karyncrisisband@gmail.com or through myspace.com/karyncrisisband.

Solo Art Show June 19th in Oakland, CA

Currently finishing a few new paintings for my solo show at Forthrite Gallery in Oakland, CA for June 19th opening. This will be my first solo show, and I'll be presenting several of the large oil paintings from my former website along with some brand new pieces I'm currently working on. GIANT SQUID will be playing a LIVE SET in the gallery! Come on down...

Karyn Crisis Band Myspace page

Within a week I should have a new myspace page completed for the Karyn Crisis Band. I will be taking some of the other ones offline, like my karyncrisisleatherworks page and the karyncrisismusic page. I get asked fequently which pages I personally operate, and for this reason I am consolidating. All the pages are fan-run except the Myspace.com/Exorsister and the new Mysapce.com/KarynCrisisBand. The band page will include album updates, new merch, leather bags for sale, and all things regarding music.

Karyn Crisis sings live with Giant Squid

This footage is me performing live with Giant Squid April 11th at the Gilman Street Club in Berkeley, CA. The song "Throwing a Donner Party at Sea" is off the new Giant Squid album "The Ichthyologist". Myspace.com/GiantSquid. GIANT SQUID RULES!!

Back In Time

(early February in Tuscany)

Several days ago my fiancee drove me to a very special city for my current journey: Ravenna. We'd already been to see great buildings, castles, churches and sculptures in the likes of Pisa, Florence, Fierene, Castagneto Castellini, Popolonia,and Siena..but Ravenna has been the first city that I've felt a part of, and I really felt a connection with its energy. Ravenna is a place where rituals hang in the air. It bears the stains of spiritual warfare. It's known for the intricate mosaic-scenes that cover the immense walls and domed ceilings of the old churches there, where tombs line the grasses out in the open.


Ravenna feels as if it has an openly realistic view of the "spiritual battle". For example, in many cities in the U.S., churches are austere, blank, plain buildings with a giant cross on top. They display no passion, no personality, little interesting architecture, no history.. while some boast the bizarre non-decorative architecture of the 1970s. In the above mentioned cities of Italy, churches are covered in intricate marble carvings, (sometimes like lace and like the ornate wood carvings of Indonesia with lots of animals and people) ..yet the carvings are anything but placid and idyllic. They display a jumble of life-sized popes and nuns, screaming angels, roaring lions, angry gargoyles, yelling monks, raging birds, and the like: the sculptures are like photographs that have captured moments of serious battle, where the carvings are in the midst of puffing out their chests to keep the "bad", or uninvited spirits away.

Ravenna accepts that all things spiritual contain both light and dark in this world of the relative, because here on this earth we do not live in a vacuum. To deny this is to deny this reality. Even in this modern age, where churches boast themselves to be perfect and above the rest of society, perfection is far from a reality, and in denial of their dark side they do not speak an authentic truth. The most difficult part on the path of a human being is to accept responsibility for one's own life and one's actions resulting in that life. To accept this responsibility is at once the beginning and the end for the human being. What you resist, persists. Accept what you dislike in your life, accept what is shit, accept what does not work in your mind..then use your thoughts to change it, to create it anew, to shape and mold and sing it alive in new ways of your liking. What you imagine, you can manifest. What you try to control, withers and dies. What you believe in will come to pass because when you choose to believe, all your thoughts then words then actions become efforts to make that belief manifest reality. So, be careful what you think, be careful what you believe. Take care of what is in your mind. You are responsible for its output. You are responsible to protect what's inside. Your body is your monument to your life's experience.



This is my battle, as I work my rituals on the beach every morning, summoning all the necessary angels and energies to protect me, my fiancee, my vision, and my life.

Moving Earth and Aether

(Early February in Tuscany)
My morning ritual at the sea..where the elements come to my feet and our spirits dance together.

KARYN CRISIS T SHIRTS FOR SALE

KARYN CRISIS T SHIRTS NOW FOR SALE!!


Sizes Avail: S,M,L,XL, Girlie.
Design is 14" wide and 15" tall at maximum.

$21 plus $5 shipping.
Send payment to Paypal account: kcrisisleather@yahoo.com.

Allow 2 weeks for delivery, these are pre-orders.
Design by Lisa Gossler and Karyn Crisis.

Neither in Death do We Part

25 March 2009. Karyn Crisis and Davide Tiso are married!!! Whoohooo!!!!

Moving the Horizon

Today has been a day of reflection. While my last post was about the human emotions I let myself feel, this one is in memoriam to all the supernatural support I've received here.
This morning we spent at the sea, as per our usual ritual. And I gave energy back to this great force that has powered me up since my arrival. Glorious day, glorious weather, glorious communion with nature.

Tuscany has been like a honeymoon of sorts...not only for my fiancee and I but also for my new self and the new Crafts I've accepted as part of my Path. This time in this strange limbo-with-purpose has shown me all is possible with my thoughts. I can no longer deny the power of self, the power within, the power of my belief, the power of self-creation.

I'm excited for the days ahead, for the forward movement, for all that's come to pass. I'm excited for moving deeper into myself, accepting my personal power. I'm excited for the seedlings of my new and life-changing album, the blossoming of my new life.

Thanks also to Simone from Savona, Italy for all your support and for meeting up with us during this time. Thanks also for starting the www.myspace.com/karyncrisisfanpage, and to RareNoise.

Deliverance

I'm coming back to the East Bay 2 months early, and I couldn't be happier. My fiance, Davide, and I have managed to have an incredible adventure together like the nomads we are: supernatural mornings as the sea, midnight visits to monuments like the tower of Pisa and Medieval town of Siena, farting inside the Vatican, the healing of my food allergies of 20 years, explosive passion in the open air, personal triumphs on the way to Rome, the most magical and intimate musical moments by candlelight...

Other than that, Tuscany, and my other so-called "friends" here can go fuck their spineless selves while I laugh at their lack of conviction.
Taking the greatest love of my life out of the picture, I have been abandoned in a guest house in the middle of Tuscan olive country. This means, without my fiancee, I'd be without car, without mobile, without internet, without a way to get food or supplies other than walking for a couple of hours one-way to the nearest grocery store.

Before I arrived, I had invitations from these "friends" to come visit their respective houses in Milan, Tuscany, Ferrara, etc, as thanks for Reiki I'd sent them. I didn't ever ask to be "repaid;" these offers came to me from them at their own volition. Since I've been here, not a single one of them has called to see how I am doing, to see if I need anything, to ask how my life is, being that I rearranged my entire life to come here..all of them full-well knowing I've been abandoned by everyone but my fiancee.

Truth be told, the most important part of this trip for me was to arrive in Davide's arms. Mission accomplished. And I'm so full of joy, I am home. I am so full of love and so loved. So immensely loved..at a time in my life where I finally believe I deserve this galactic love and at a time where my heart is so open I'm capable of giving such galactic love in such a pure way.
He's the one I've been searching for over time and space, and finally we found each other. Perhaps because we're so in love, I've not taken this weird turn of events personally. I like to see the larger purpose in chaos, in messes, even in the lovely victories. When life presents its piles of shit to us, I like to think those shit piles represent opportunity: chances to make choices that tell the world who we are, who we want to be. My choices here have done just that: they prove that I believe in myself, even in situations where people would try to make me believe I am worth nothing. I choose to make choices that protect my vision, my rights, my love, my passion, my moving of energy. As a result, the earth and air and water and aether have made their power available to me. It is in these powers I believe, and in the power of creation within myself.

It's impossible to distinguish my flame. It's infinite. I've even tried to put it out in the past, but it's meant to shine. SHINE BRIGHT, SWEET LIGHT.

ITALIA!

`Finally, I am in Tuscany, after 3 flight delays, 3 flight cancellations, one added flight and one lost bag of luggage (which has since been recovered) !!! I am so happy and I feel a home. The land is beautiful and looks similar to parts of northern Cali. There is even a nearby town called La California! I go to visit Eraldo's studio tomorrow.

NOMADA

Last night I arrived to my friend Jackie's apartment in NYC.
We realized how long it's been since I've been to NYC.
This morning I thought about the beginning of 2006, when I arrived in NorCal, and how this last period of living there was the longest stretch of time, since I can remember, when I was still..in one place. During these last few years, I stepped out of my nomadic life and focused on being in the moment. This stillness of movement brought about stillness within me through meditation, guided imagery, metaphysics, Buddhism, Shamanism, Reiki..and along with the ghosts who'd been chasing me for years these new tools brought me back to myself. I sent a call out to the Universe to give me a breakthrough, enlightenment, new paths to take to work through the darkness in a way that would break me free of the vicious cycle that only brought me back to emotional paralysis before. My call was answered...then the Universe sent me a call in return, beckoning me back to music.

So here I find myself in NYC; right now a gateway for me..almost a halfway point between my old life and the new one awaiting me in Italy. The perfect place for reflection. I am so excited to see what magic awaits there...because that magic truly resides in me..and what occurs there has everything to do with what I wish to create within me and without. Time to wander the city streets..Ciao!

Farewell Dear Ghosts

"Be near me now,
As I die unto myself
Releasing in a flame of gold
And laid to rest by myself.
I open the door of no return
And say farewell to sorrows past
And die unto the light
And die unto the light."

F*A*Q

A little update: I'll be moving to Italy the first week of February for an undetermined amount of time!
Until then, I am booked solid for custom leather orders. After this month, I will NOT be taking leather orders for a while, and most of my webstore stock is SOLD OUT. Grab what you can while you can.

I will continue to paint and sell paintings via my webstore and ebay, however. I'll also be starting an art webpage, which I'll get the word out about. Paintings will be available there for sale (the few that haven't yet sold), as well as photos of all my work from the past few years. Just keep an eye here and Myspace.com/Exorsister and Myspace.com/KarynCrisisMusic for details.

I will finally have T SHIRTS AVAILABLE very soon! My best friend Lisa Gossler designed them, AND, I am finishing up METHODOLOGY graphic novel after 10 + years.

AND...we will be posting updates and photos from studio!

New Karyn Crisis Paintings for Sale..

Two new paintings up for auction on Ebay:>

"The Witch and Her Guides", acrylic and oil on maple board.
"Wielding the Way," special edition painted photo.
To see photos, check out my Albums and go to Ebay:
Search: KARYN CRISIS or use link below:

http://shop.ebay.com/?_from=R40&_trksid=m38&_nkw=karyn+crisis

Solo Album Writing Session Number 2 !!!

The second writing session has begun for my solo album! Davide Tiso and Eraldo Bernocchi are in studio..and in one and a half days have sent me 1 slammin' completed song and are working on a second!! They are working so fast it's incredible...I have completed lyrics and vocals for 2 songs, and I'm working on a third and fourth. Plus,I'm working on a few vocal-based pieces.

In 2 and a half weeks I'll be in Italy with them, working on pre-production for the month of February and then recording in March...I'm so excited to sing again and to continue my journey in Italy!!!! New beginnings all around.

I'm grinning at life's sense of humor and greater plan: Here I've been working through my own transformation for 3 years..3 being the pervasive number of composition in this World of the Relative. I'm reminded of what I wrote before in a previous posting:
"It's not lost on me that we are a triumverate, and it's not lost on me the power and significance in that number. As each human being is a three-fold being, we are each three-in-one, you could say, in this world of Relative: body,mind,spirit; id, ego, superego; here,there, the space in between; conscious, subconscious, superconscious;past, present, future; energy, matter, antimatter; phyiscal, the non-physical, the metaphysical: Eraldo, Davide, Karyn..the POWER is here..."

And as I think of that posting, I look inward and realize that my 3 year journey has brought me in a circle, as life does..whose starting point now is the one I left behind 3 years ago: My voice in Music. Further, I realize each year of those 3 I worked on a third of my self's composition: my mind, my body, my spirit...Getting my house in order, so to speak. I didn't expect to be spit back out into the world..or even the world of music again! I was content journeying my desert alone, then starting up my leather business again working alone, painting alone..then Reiki found me and I received my attunements and WOW, I was ushered back into the world, and lives of people, with eyes that behold so much more now in those around me, in this world, and in the aether...During those 3 years my greatest wish was to go to the Amazon and study with Shaman and become awakened to the secrets of life. Life told me, however, that my place was here, this was no time to hide..and yet I still received my "Shaman experience wish", only in different form..part of my wish took place in a forest indeed, albiet the Redwoods, and with a Shaman, with 3 Reiki Masters, and ALL preparing me for this year, 2009..9 being the number of COMPLETION.

Like the Phoenix Bird I've so loved since I was a child, I find myself completing a circle, rebuilding from my own ashes, beginning again...From the Self all things spring forth: We are blessed with the creative power to command "I AM, I BECOME, I BELIEVE".

Tenacity is when you follow your heart--when the whole world is screaming to get back into your head.-Sonia Choquette

from "Blessings, Prayers and Declarations for a Heartful Life" by Julia Cameron.

I am blessed by my own tenacity. I contain an inner reservoir of gritty strength, which serves me and others well. My capacity to stick to a commitment is a safe and trustworth component of my character. My tenacity is the building block for my successful career, relationship,family life, and friendship.

Obstacles test me but they do not deter me. I am able, always, to tap an inner resilient strength which serves me. Even when life is a desert, I find my careful way. Like a camel, I carry within myself stamina and the wisdom to use my energy wisely for the long trek.

I am a creature of miraculous endurance. My will and my grounded passion form the basis for my tenacious movement through life. I bless my tenacity for its important, unsung heroism.