Karyn Crisis: Seeker,Shaman,Witch,Healer

Karyn Crisis Sings for Ephel Duath

2011-12-08T07:55:00.000-08:00

Ephel Duath Music News:

Steve DiGiorgio (Death, Testament, Sadus, Obscura), Karyn Crisis (Crisis, Karyn Crisis Band) and Marco Minnemann (Paul Gilbert, Necrophagist, Kreator, Tony MacAlpine) join EPHEL DUATH in the upcoming EP due in spring 2012.

The complete line-up presents itself as follows:

Davide Tiso - guitars
Karyn Crisis - vocals
Steve DiGiorgio - bass
Marco Minnemann - drums

Being fully into the preproduction process and about to record drums for the EP, the band will keep posting regular updates and videos of the recording.

In the meantime, check the upcoming issue of Outburn Magazine (#62, on sale December 27 in the US) - it will feature an interview in which Davide Tiso discusses details on the forthcoming release and Ephel Duath's career.

Phantasmaphile

2011-12-06T19:36:00.001-08:00

One of my favorite blogs, Phantasmaphile, mentioned my Tarot paintings tonite. So thankful! This is an inspiring blog filled with occult and visionary art that I love to read in the early a.m. as I'm preparing for my day ahead. Wish I lived closer to attend many lectures by Pam Grossman and other contributers at the Observatory. filled with artists of vision:Phantasmaphile

Prints now available of my Tarot series

2011-11-22T21:59:00.000-08:00

I'm now offering limited edition giclee prints of my Tarot paintings in my etsy shop on a made-to-order basis here:MY ETSY SHOP

Major Arcana Tarot Show notes

2011-11-13T19:06:00.000-08:00

The day I began to study Tarot in the forest I wrote in my sketchbook regarding the major Arcana cards: "My goal is to depict visually the state of consciousness each archetype portrays. This requires study of the Trumps and their meanings, rather than to just interpret artistically the names of each archetype."

I saw the deck in a full vision, then I went deeper into each card as I studied it, channelling more information and visual details. I took extensive notes, but didn't stop there. As I began to sketch out all the paintings and paint them, the channelling continued during the work itself, and the tarot began to study me.

Painting each one was intensely meditative.

I've always had a great respect for the tarot. Whenever I think of it, I feel a particular hum, a frequency, and I feel the antiquity and the seriousness of it. Even more than that, I feel the presences who created it, whom I call the "Council" .

Because I can feel the presences and sometimes see them, (though all those years ago I didn't realize I could communicate with them and feel their emotions and discern their personalities yet..so) the tarot used to scare me. I could sense the Council who watch over the cards, the creators of the system.

I believe, as with many esoteric systems, Tarot was passed down as a legacy and given to humans. Much in the way other magicians throughout history were given magickal rites systems in visions from the archangels...or healers were given "remembrance" of a system during a vision quest, etc. These systems are far too complicated and deep for them to have been created by one person. I believe they are so so much older than we can imagine.

I've wanted to paint a Tarot deck for more than 15 years, but I hadn't felt ready until recently.
I felt it wasn't right to start until they felt I was ready. And so..my Guides have taken my hand and are leading me through.

In fact, with this deck, I'm having to paint many things I've not painted before and don't really know how; water, for example. I painted these paintings in 2.5 months (building the canvases from scratch to painting all of them), and that's an amazing accomplishment for me, using oil paints. I don' tuse turpentine or any thinners, just walnut oil...although on the final layers I did use some alkyd to speed the drying time. It took me 15 hours a day of painting..and usually one day a week I crashed. if I had to go get groceries, I'd make sure to jog there. When painting something I didn't know how to I'd just hear "keep the brush on the canvas, we'll work it out for you."

In terms of deciding what images to include within each card, my focus was to, instead of hiding meanings in obscure or outdated symbols and images, to bring forth the essence of each personality (which the major arcana is: the Archetypes) within the Figure of each card which we travel through on our path. Since the figures themselves mirror back to us certain personality traits and their strengths and weaknesses, I felt it was important to make those traits very present.

Natural elements I've reserved for the pip cards, since that is their domain. While a spirit/personality moves through growth cycles of the majot arcana, the pip cards affect her journey elementally, spiritually, mentally, and physically...
choosing which ones of these influences should be imbedded within amajor aracana card so depends on the time and place interpretation of the reader, I felt to make this deck more concentrated within each card's essence...rather than clutter with symbols that might not pertain to the actual reading. Perhaps this is because my ability to read (as a clairvoyant/clairsentient/clairaudient) began with no tools, so I'm coming from a different place..but I believe in studying the structure and procedures proper of a system. Being so visual though, I find that many decks' visual vocabularies actually give me an unrelated or confusing image of the archetype at hand many times...or takes me on a vocabulary journey : attaching an image to a word, then to another word, then to an adjective..to finally find out what the original images mean.

Clairvoyants, for example, use a particular system to "see", but each clarivoyant "sees" in a language that is their own, which also speaks and uses the language of the readee of the moment. Yet each clairvoyant has a "master" language that they see and visually speak from a place of neutrality, and this langauge can speak/see/interpret with any other person's language.

and so in the tarot also, there is a clairvoyant lanugage depicted in imagery. A "master tabluea" if you will, upon which a reader will meet with their own master language. Together these will communicate and build a bridge of communication with a readee. The Tarot is the teacher here, the reader is the medium/channel for the readee.

I wanted to search deeply into Tarot...and I knew as I did the tarot would see deeply into me!

The photos here are of me outside Sacred Rose Tattoo in Berkeley, CA, where I presented my Tarot show for the month of October. SR2 Gallery is located inside.

New Blood Milk

2011-11-13T18:59:00.000-08:00

This is my wonderful new BloodMilk crescent necklace in white bronze.

BloodMilk has also released a fantastic new lookbook called "The Conjurer", available as a free download on a new website. Feast your eyes here:BloodMilkjewels.com

Halloween Treat

2011-11-10T14:35:00.000-08:00

A little belated Halloween Treat news...the artist Amber Michelle Russell, who draws graphite portraits, made a portrait of me and gifted it to me..thanks Amber..it arrived on Halloween! My favorite portrait of hers is Christopher Walken. You can see more of her work on her facebook page: AmberMichelleRussell

Spirit Board Painting details

2011-10-31T10:32:00.001-07:00

Forgot a detail on the planchette yesterday, and now my "Spirit Board" painting is complete and ready to be delivered to the gallery tomorrow! I thought it only fitting to use a Victorian theme, and therefore Victorian mourning jewelry on the ladies.

The woman on the right has a round necklace with woven hair of her beloved departed inside, and a "jeweled" necklace made of teeth. The woman on the left has a parrot brooch inspired by Disce Mori Julia Deville shop
And the rings are all lovingly reproduced from the Etsy shop of my favorite Jewel Designer, Blood Milk. There's a Bear Tooth Engagement ring...: Blood Milk Bear Tooth

as well as a LYDIA ring by BLood Milk... BloodMilk Etsy

SPIRIT GUIDE necklace by Blood MilkBlood Milk Shop and I used the "Spirit Guide" necklace hand and turned it into a ring. I think the jewelry in this painting tells as much as story as the overall painting does. Following the hints behind the meanings of all the rings and necklaces and hairpieces gives certain insight into the personalities of the ladies and what they are doing here in this situation.

Spirit Board Painting

2011-10-30T11:04:00.001-07:00

I've completed my painting for the Spirit Board Group Show which opens Nov 5th!

Spirit Board Update

2011-10-24T10:55:00.000-07:00

IN PROGRESS: Still painting away on my piece for the Spirit Board group show. I'm just a few days away from completion I think! The main elements are here, minus one very special detail that will be painted in a bit later, and I'll post that final photo here when possible. This unfinished painting measures 26" x 36". Building my own canvases gives me the flexibility to build the appropriate shape for the idea, and I love canvas. For the sake of durability though, I'm having to consider moving to board eventually, especially since I like to work large. Transporting canvas is always nerve-wracking...but I am not such a fan of that flat texture. I found a company that makes custom sizes, only problem is they sell their boards raw...so's there's not only no ground on which to paint (and I've had unhappy experiences applying my own gesso to wood), but there's no sealant to protect the paint from wood acids. I'm shocked at how many artists paint oil directly on wood and then marvel at how that wood just soaks in all the paint. That is a process that will devour a painting over time. Wood acids mixed with oil, no ground to hold them in...strange to put all that work into something so unstable. Even canvas expands and contracts over time, risking cracking. Such is the nature of ever-changing organic matter!

Back from the Inner Between

2011-10-14T11:13:00.000-07:00

I am working hard on a new large piece for an exciting group show coming to Articulated Gallery in November. The super talented supernatural jewelry designer JL Schnabel of Blood Milk is curating this show. I am ever so excited to see what results of the artists she's collected for this Spirit Board show. When she invited me to paint a Ouija Board themed painting, I knew this was the perfect time, as it's October! (And a super haunted one it's already been. I expect to feel quite a buzz at this show.), especially since I've been working on my Tarot deck for the last few months. Divination all around!

And, since I pushed myself so hard, painting 15 hour days and surviving on a body-abusive (but delicious) diet of cappuccinos, I started seeing a phenomenal Chiropractor who also uses Cranial-Sacral, nutrition, muscle testing..I think my husband finally found the magic naturopath for me! Especially after my fist visit, detoxing hard, I tried to get a little balancing energy from a gemstone nap..when the stones started to chuckle at me and told me "nope! this time you can't rely on outside fix: time to get it right on the inside." I knew we were on the right track!

I was born with the mark of a Shaman, or some say the plight of an artist: sickly child; asthma, allergies ( I could barely eat a thing), battling life and death over and over, hearing that Angel of Death laughing in my face. Doctors could never quite help-some along the way contributed, but mostly they pumped me full of meds that destroyed my immune system. Born a Scorpio seems so apt, and it's no wonder I can communicate with Spirits who've passed over, and an occasional earthbound ghost. More importantly, my illness and these spirits were just trying to get me to remember who I am, and my illness and these hauntings directed me on my path (not without great suffering).

Even though feeling exhausted is one of the most frustrating feelings for me, it's exciting to feel my body working. Each day I know what organ is being cleaned out because I am called to feel the emotion associated with it. As the thoughts and feelings erupt, I am carefully listening, observing, learning. This re-balancing is slowing me wayyy down, which is difficult for me, but I know it's needed after a lifetime of living with dis-ease. As I breakthrough to new levels of healing, I feel I'll breakthrough to new levels of creativity, clairvoyance, feeling..it's endless!
My intuition has led me to naturopathy over the years, and I am so excited to work with a doctor who's listening to what my body is saying right now in the present (instead of using me as a lab rat for experiments, which has been most of my AMA experience). That's a healer!

Karyn is interviewed by Eclectix!

2011-09-29T14:51:00.000-07:00

http://eclectixetc.wordpress.com/2011/09/29/karyn-crisis-eclectix-interview-24/
TO SEE IMAGES, COPY AND PASTE ABOVE LINK OR GO TO :ECLECTIX.com
Karyn Crisis, Eclectix Interview 24

Posted on September 29, 2011 by eclectixart

Eclectix first became aqquainted with Karyn a couple of years ago, when she came into the gallery, hair swinging, toting some killer leather works – gothic purses and cuffs. They were obviously crafted by someone with an artist’s eye and a gypsy soul – offbeat, with beautiful quality and embracing the darkness of life. Karyn has a huge energy about her, a quick intelligence and the creative verve to let her freak flag fly. A self-taught artist, she shared some of her paintings and professed that she wanted to concentrate more on them in the future. Luckily, she has been able to, cranking out some powerful Tarot works in her beloved oils, just this past year.
Karyn’s solo show “The Major Arcana” opens October 1st at SR2 Gallery in Berkeley, CA. ( thru Oct. 31st)

Could you give us a little about your background? I’ve always felt out of time and place on this planet. I’ve been able to see and communicate with spirits since I was young- but it scared me then and I’m able to embrace it now. I feel as if all my past lives are being remembered in this lifetime. I don’t look back often, but when I do, I realize just how much I’ve done so far. Having left my touring metal band of 13 years (Crisis) in 2005, I started over as a painter, shaman, Reiki Master Teacher, clairvoyant. My favorite chapter of my life is the current one, with my creative and talented husband and our cat. Music and a Tuscan witch brought us together and keep us moving forward in a creative, magical lifestyle. I made a living selling my paintings and custom leather work a few years ago, until my husband gifted me an art studio and the time to paint for painting’s sake – to get my technical skills where I want them, and to decide what I want to paint without worrying about selling my work. My work now is devoted to Witchcraft culture (European shamanism, healing modalities, and rituals).

Can you tell us a little about your creative process? I visualize a painting and the most important thing is to capture an action and decide the purpose of the painting. I see it in my mind’s eye, complete. I create her face, decide who she is, what her tools and colors will be and what exactly her intent or action is, then I draw it out with as much detail as possible. I then take a photo of myself for lighting reference and lines of hands, etc. From there, I often refer to fashion magazines or my favorite jewelry designers to use their clothing and jewelry pieces as inspiration. I also use a lot of my own ritual tools (changing them just a bit) and clothing. Then for the oil painting process, I build the canvas, draw the painting on, beginning with a burnt-sienna underpainting. From there, I paint the drawing in burnt umber, adding some shadows. Then I build with layers of greens, blacks and whites… it’s a bastardization of the Verdaccio technique. Throughout the process I get feedback from my husband. He knows what I’m trying to do without my having to say a word, and he’s got a talent for objectivity. I can get overambitious or not know when to stop painting and he reels me back in.

My favorite art memory from my childhood is… floating, out of my body, above my mother and myself. I was sick, lying in bed in my favorite corduroy navy and flowered overalls. Another memory is making potions in our backyard with plants and dirt.

My interest in art/painting started … I was little, watching my mom paint. I was always drawing. Always. And dreaming. She took my sister and I into Chicago often to the museums and galleries. The modern art wing was very dark, art-wise, it was very serious and it scared me. I was hooked.

I am often inspired and motivated by… my struggles. My frustrations with myself become quite a force for transformation. I am my own worst enemy, and when I’m stuck or overrun by an emotion, I’m inspired to use energywork to undertand, to listen, to learn. These modalities give me almost more to see and experience than my waking eyes. And one of my spirit guides and I work together on visualizing my painting concepts.

If I could spend the day with any artist (dead or alive) it would be… Anselm Kiefer (below) And we would… make his giant tar books together.

The tip or art technique (a specific tidbit of craft, advice or mechanical expertise) that has helped me the most is …. ”verdaccio”. An artist described this technique in a magazine interview and it changed my understanding of painting dramatically. Also, while painting, I find myself asking “what do you see” constantly, looking more intently at my reference photo, and with each layer redefining my lightest and darkest points.
(Eclectix note: ”Verdaccio” is an underpainting technique which came from the Italian fresco painters of the early Renaissance. Created traditionally from a mixture of Mars Black and Yellow Ochre pigments, Verdaccio was used to establish tonal values in fresco painting quickly, creating a soft greenish-gray for the shadows of flesh tones.)

If I could own one piece of art, out of the world’s collections, it would be …I’ve never been one to covet “things“. I don’t put alot of energy towards having “things”, but maybe I should! I’m more about wanting to create, to do, to accomplish, and to experience. BUT, if I had the money, I’d pay a good amount of it for some antique Strega Grimoires. ( A book describing magical beliefs and practices, for a female witch)

My favorite piece of my own art is… Witch’s Wands (above) because… I still can’t believe I painted it. In fact, my newer paintings feel like they paint themselves.

My ultimate project or fantasy is … to have my art in museums along with witchy installations, and to tour with my husband. The more we learn about legacies like Egypt, the Maya, etc, we learn all our ancestors had a spiritual system that helped them accomplish great things that they couldn’t have learned just on their own as a human. Call it religion, spirituality, shamanism, witchcraft, they’re culturally relevant systems deserve a visual voice.

The last song I choose to listen to was… a new one Davide is writing for Ephel Duath, and a new one for my solo album.

The last book I couldn’t put down was …. The Cauldron of Memory by Raven Grimassi.

My favorite word is… molto, fuck (you can use it in so many ways!)
I can’t live without …my husband

It’s not hip, but I really love … to study pigments and their properties. I will research the history of pigments, what their updated versions are made of and what they do. I love to study systems of all sorts. I had a photography teacher who gave me some great advice while reeling in my experimental photography efforts: “learn how to do things properly and well, then you can do whatever you want with it.”

I’ve been someone to whom things “happen”…I want to paint and “poof”, it happens. I want to do something else and “poof” it comes easy. It’s getting the outcome to present itself with my standard of quality and intensity that is difficult. Being able to recreate that first intuitive magic had also been difficult, until I learned that there’s more to an experience than the “happening” of it, the “being”…which is the technique behind. Learn the technique, or the system, and you can navigate better. I used to think, to demand, that my expression should come naturally, that “poof” I should be able to create a perfect painting each time, and I snubbed my nose at learning technique. Now I’ve found that learning a technique, that I can understand, gives me the freedom to let the painting happen by getting my own bad habits out of the way!

My favorite motto is… you must be certain of your power.

2011-09-22T09:49:00.000-07:00

My Justice Tarot almost-finished painting.

BloodMilk's Eagle Talon Crescent Moon.
The Black BloodMilk Crow Claw Davide bought me
For many years, I did not feel an affinity for jewelry: my idea of adornment was wearing found animal bones, or a rare metal talisman (like the bronze Medusa charm someone gave me years ago). I've not been a person so intent on having "things" or collecting "things" other that ritual -type things but more often found natural objects...but maybe because I was in a touring band for 13 years, thus more of a nomad than a person who could settle into a home to house things. Also, so much jewelry available seemed to be overly feminine and not have some masculinity thrown in there for balance.That changed a few years ago, and I began to notice jewelry made by new designers, which had a very handmade feel, a sense of antiquity like a secret treasure. I look for pieces that have a ritual function and visual appeal. My favorite ongoing collection by far is Blood Milk. Metalsmith Ms Schnabel has blown me away with her talents for precise detail, bold and big designs, embracing the old and the new, and her love of the "supernatural" (a spychic I admire scolded me for using that word. She said there' nothing "super" about it, it's just our natural way to be, pure and simple). Each piece has that wonderful ritualistic feel, and a deep sense of love in its crafting. One of the touching aspects is her use of animal bones and claws to create moon crescents and pentacles and crosses and other symbols of energy portals and transmitters. In this combination I find a Universal balance of masculinity and femininity and great natural power. The prefect gems for a witch! I find them so inspiring that I've included them in two of my Tarot paintings: Justice and the Chariot, and I'm sure they'll appear in future works.

2011-09-20T22:57:00.000-07:00

SR2 Gallery & Sacred Rose Tattoo are Pleased to Present "The Major Arcana: Work by Karyn Crisis"

Opening Reception: Saturday, October 1st, 2011 6pm – 9pm
Artist Bio:
Karyn began oil painting in 2006, after leaving her touring band of 13 years, Crisis. She has been obsessed with the idea of "inner demon/darkness" as a power source, and with facing it as a process of self-acceptance en route to enlightenment; the inner demon and its role as teacher and guide to empowerment via self-knowledge, forgiveness, and unity for a higher good.

Karyn sees light in dark places.

She has chosen to express, through her art, this dark side, the power within it, and the controversial beauty therein. She uses archetypes in her paintings and drawings, whose power and beauty have universally been both admired and feared, and whose images have been molded into harmless, quiet, passive or evil symbols, despite their terrifying and benevolent truths: Angels, Witches, and Mythological Women. Karyn also incorporates her first-hand experience with these beings as a Medium, Clairvoyant, and Seer.
http://www.karyncrisis.net/

The exhibition runs October 1st, 2011 – November 1st, 2011
Gallery Hours: Monday – Sunday 12pm – 8pm
www.KarynCrisis.net

--
SR2 GALLERY
SACRED ROSE TATTOO
1728 University Ave
Berkeley, California 94703
510.883.1083
www.sacredrosetattoo.com
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZJQ7bCdN0Vk

KarynCrisis.net is now live!!!

2011-09-20T14:43:00.000-07:00

Magus in-progress

2011-09-17T12:55:00.001-07:00

Click on photo for larger image...more coming soon!

Tarot Paintings..more in-progress photos

2011-09-12T01:20:00.001-07:00

State of Mind

2011-09-04T23:33:00.000-07:00

Today is the first day I took a break from painting. I "rested" with gemstones, taking a much-needed recharge, at the same time using transmitter stones. I had an intense lucid dream. Afterwards, I began to think of all the paths of interest I've followed in my life thus far, reflected on how they were aspects of past-lives trying to lead me back to remembering myself in this life, and I began to think about my earliest memories...which are of me painting as a child and thinking about Van Gogh.

Then I remember when started painting again in 2006 (hadn't really painted in 10 years up to that point aside from painted photographs). I immediately began to paint large, and at the time I listened to music when I painted: to keep me going, to keep my mood up during long, long hours or difficult passages, to keep the energy flowing. However, I found that music influenced me too much emotionally and took my focus off the painting. For example, a certain song made me feel so powerful..yet when i'd stand back and look at what I painted I'd be disappointed by what was there. I realized the emotion of the music was taking me places, almost altered states, as painting can do as well, yet it was taking away from the outcome of the painting sessions rather than adding to.

Now I paint with no music. The painting is the joy itself, and I ride out all the ups and downs and push through...even during the 12th hour of exhaustion and onto the 15th. While I feel in trance alot of the time, I am also very alert and present, and I feel one foot in this world and one beyond the veil. It's a very natural place for me, and it's how I live much of my days, but a relatively new experience during painting. I hear the words of advice "paint what you see" alot, and I pay great attention to color choice and what is happening between my eyes and brush, yet it feels like the painting is painting itself. Being self taught, i feel a huge difference in the way i paint now, and it's become an intensely meditative experience. Meditation doesn't mean it's all "peace and light", it means there is intense work being done within and nowhere to run from it. This is what I'm experiencing every day for 15 hours each day for the last month and a half. I am also feeling the presence of the "Guardians" of the Tarot, or "The Council" as I call them, and I'll write more about this later.

I have a piece in this Group Art Show !!

2011-09-03T10:00:00.001-07:00

Saturday, September 17 at 8:00pm - September 18 at 1:00am
Location
Everybody Bikes
1352 Irving Street
San Francisco, California 94122
Created By
Hiro Hayashi
More Info
"ALL TOGETHER NOW"
Saturday, Sept 17, 2011
8pm ~ 1AM
Location: Everybody Bikes
1352 Irving Street
(btwn 14 and 15 ave)
San Francisco, Ca 94122
415-682-4439

Description: "All TOGETHER NOW" is a group show representing all different kinds of artworks that different types of people have created. No theme. No Rules. No medium restrictions. It is going to be a room full of different types of artworks from illustrations, paintings, sculptures to prints. Also we will be having live music playing by Wild Hearts Can't Be Broken and Ghost Town Jenny.

ARTISTS:

Andrew Bower
John Fox Haag
Kyana Holzman
Bopp Killer
Waterbug
Amber
MOUSE
Lauren
Andrew Luck
Jonathan Le
Danimal
DURBIN
Frank Pastor
Pete Warren
Julie Seltzer
CHRISTINA
Kat Martin
Natan Van Den Heever
Paul Kalcic
Mary Kalcic
LiLJAPAN
Melissa Davidson
Michael Berninger
Sarah V
Kimberly Larson
Bradley Platz
Karyn Crisis

Music By:
Wild Hearts Can't Be Broken
Ghost Town Jenny

DRINKS!!!...FOOD!!!..LIVE MUSIC!!!...AND ART!!!!!!!!!!

Tarot Paintings In-Progress

2011-09-01T22:58:00.000-07:00

Here's a quick peek at some of the Tarot Paintings for my October 1st show...they are all still in-progress and not yet finished!

You Are Invited To...

2011-08-19T19:31:00.000-07:00

I've been mailing out special invites to my Tarot Show! I have always wanted a show at SR2 Gallery, and I've always wanted to craft my own Tarot deck, AND, my show just happens to be during my favorite month..October. Thanks to my husband, Davide, who arranged this show for me while he was getting his upper arm tattooed by KC Angel at Sacred Rose Tattoo.

Visions

2011-08-18T07:52:00.000-07:00

After my Tarot show, I have to complete a painting for the Ouija Group show which will be at Articulated Gallery in November. I already have my concept worked out for this, so I just have to photograph it and get started. Then I feel guided to (well, complete another large "portrait" that I began a month ago) continue painting large-scale, but instead of painting largely "portraits" as I have been doing, to depict more rituals and initiations from my personal experiences. I think it's natural I gravitated towards "portraits" to begin, since I had to decide Who these Witches are, Who these Shaman are, and Which style of painting I wanted to use. Now that I'm in the swing of my style and technique, I need to manifest more action within each painting. Until this point I've managed to capture an action (dealing with spirit attachments, the breath of life, calling in the 4 quarters, generating energy from the palm chakras, etc), in a sort of cropped freeze-frame. This was the result of focusing so much on my intent...now it's time to show those actions in context; in their surroundings, depicting the spirit-side of things that can't be seen by the "naked" eye, etc. Since these large scale paintings will be so much more detailed, I also plan to continue painting on a smaller scale, as with my Tarot show. And of course I need to continue to paint the rest of my Tarot deck, which I plan to print in its entirety when completed.

Guiding Forces

2011-08-17T11:23:00.000-07:00

I'm being guided to "update" certain Tarot cards. Not in the sense that I am "updating" the concept; the core stays the same, but rather through imagery I am bringing the concept more to the center in a currently readable way. Language and symbols are "dated" ideas, and they conjured "dated" concepts based upon the culture and it's affectations of the time period. I'm being led to understand the Tarot beyond the symbolism on the card; the way I've learned to see beyond the words of a person I'm reading clairvoyantly or whose body organs I am communicating with during a Reiki Healing session. The words and the outward appearance can sometimes mislead. I've found that in learning about Tarot, there are cards which have been misread by people no matter what time period they are speaking to or being used in. So with my deck, I would say my clairvoyance is taking me to the core of each card. Here is where, in updated symbolism (or symbolism that speaks to me and my inner language) I am "updating" cards with codes that carry the information in a way that speaks to me the story. "The Fool", "The Magician", "The Chariot", for starters, I've been led to rework in subtle or not-so-subtle ways.

Tarot Tarot Tarot

2011-08-15T14:02:00.000-07:00

As anyone who makes a living with their art knows, any setback can quickly snowball. Happily, my cat is doing so much better. Buy currently I am behind on several leather orders, an album artwork commission, new leather for my etsy shop...but I'm managing to stay in good keeping with my Tarot paintings. Thanks to late-nite espresso from my Italian mother-in-law's "mocha" brewer, I'm able to work the late nite/early morning hours as well. By tomorrow night I will have a total of 10 of the 22 Tarot paintings in various stages of process. The painting is going so well, it's the drawing that slows me down. As I've learned, though, the drawing is truly the most important step going in, so that foundation must be done with care. Sometime before October 1st I plan to have my new website up and running, record more vocals for the new songs Davide's written, and plan my painting for the Ouija-theme show at Articulated Gallery in November. Whew.

Custom bag

2011-07-24T22:45:00.000-07:00

This is another custom bag I recently completed for a client who always challenges my pattern making skills! She always has a specific design in mind. This particular bag was based on photos of another bag she used to have. i had to re-create it from photos and guess at measurements. The interior has lots of compartments that were tricky to sew...She wanted it to be soft and slouchy, and I wanted it to be strong enough to last...

2009 Gouache Paintings on exhibit, for sale..

2011-07-21T12:42:00.000-07:00

For the month of August, I will have 8 gouache paintings on archival paper (along with 2 masks and some clay Healing Hands) on exhibit in R Gallery, inside Blick Art Materials. They are all on sale...For more details, go to my facebook:KarynCrisisOfficial.

TAROT SHOW

2011-07-11T15:28:00.000-07:00

As I've been deepening my Tarot studies in preparation for my painting show of the Major Arcana in October, I've notice the Tarot is deepening its study of me, and I find myself taking the Fool's journey through the entire deck. I expect this exciting journey to become much more intense while I sharpen my preliminary sketches and begin to paint each Trump. I've decided on the basic size: 13" x 19", but there will be a few that are larger, in the correct proportion, and several smaller sizes, also in correct proportion. Eventually I want to release this as a complete special edition deck, but for now 22 paintings is a huge undertaking; to build the canvases and paint each one in oils, in addition to the mental, physical, and spiritual changes I'll continue to undergo as part of the process.

Custom Bag just shipped out....

2011-07-08T08:47:00.001-07:00

Here are a few photos of a custom bag I just finished making and shipped on her way...Later today I begin building canvases for my Tarot show!

Upcoming Art Shows!!!

2011-07-05T16:31:00.001-07:00

I am pleased to announce that I have several Painting shows coming up this fall: My Solo "Tarot" show at Sacred Rose Tattoo Gallery in Berkeley, CA October 1st. In November, I'm participation in Ouija themed group show at Articulated Gallery in San Francisco, curated by the lovely Ms. Blood Milk J.Schnabel. I've also just been invited for a solo show at Blick Art Materials in Berkeley,CA..date to be announced soon. All the work at Blick will be my tantra/shaman/alchemy/archangel work in gouache on etching papers, large format. When I can better figure out how to post links to these various places I'll return and do that!

In-Progress Paintings

2011-07-01T18:51:00.001-07:00

A few peeks at two in-progress paintings...

Preparing for my Solo Painting Show in October...

2011-06-25T13:32:00.000-07:00

I've been wanting to paint my own tarot deck for about 10 years, and I've decided now it the right time! I have a solo painting show at Sacred Rose Tattoo in Berkeley in October, and I'm going to paint the tarot deck for this show. The plan is to also offer a printed deck as well from the paintings in the show. Eventually I'd like to make my own conceptual deck altogether, based on the divination I've done in my practice..but I think starting off with a more traditional deck is ambitious enough for now. As a seer, a clairvoyant, I've learned that I don't need any tools at all to "see", even though I've used many and studied even more. So now it will be a challenge to create cards that resonate with me and also express the essences of each card without being so crammed with symbols and information that they lack any visual imapact. This will be a truly exciting experience and I expect the creative journey to be quite an adventure. I intend to include drawings in the show pieces as well, and perhaps some type of documentation of this process in the form of anecdotes. We shall see...pun intended

New Bleeding Heart Clutch in my Etsy Shop

2011-06-20T11:41:00.001-07:00

Blood Milk Jewelry

2011-06-15T13:58:00.000-07:00

The past few years I've been painting, studying ancient magickal arts, training my clairvoyance, etc, and recently decided to come out of my cave and present my paintings and new music to the world once again. Davide, the most thoughtful person I've ever known, wanted to mark the occasion buy surprising me with a very special gift: a Black Blood Claw Necklace by Blood Milk Jewelry.
I'd found the Blood Mikl etsy shop a while ago, and I've been pouring over her designs ever since. I am so impressed by the craftswomanship, the detail, the boldness and feeling of antiquity in each piece. Check out the Blood Milk Shophere

New Pyramid Necklace in my Etsy Shop..

2011-06-13T10:30:00.001-07:00

Giclee Prints For Sale!!!

2011-06-10T08:57:00.000-07:00

Giclee Prints of my original oil painting "Calling In The 4 Quarters" are now available in my etsy shop! Fine me on Etsy as Karyn Crisis Secret Arts, or type: karyncrisis.etsy.com!!

New Leather Items for sale on Etsy

2011-06-07T16:30:00.000-07:00

I am receiving alot of queries about the White Skull Bag below..It's already sold, but I am taking custom orders, so do contact me if you'd like to order a similar one. Custom orders take 3-4 weeks.

Work In Progress Update

2011-06-04T21:35:00.000-07:00

Photos coming tomorrow...So as much time as I've devoted to studying pigments and their properties, they can still be so surprising! With my new series of paintings (starting with "Calling in the Four Quarters" which is the orange background/birds/witch with energy coming out of her hands) I'm using a bastardization of the Verdaccio technique. For that painting, I chose Terra Verte and Burnt Umber/ Sienna for the underpainting, and I used Titanium White with walnut oil for the skin layers. Walnt and safflower oils are the best for whites and light colors because they don't yellow over time like linseed.
But..for thiis next in-progress work, the Shaman with Wands, I wanted to use the more traditional Chromium Oxuide Green and Flake White Replacement. True Flake White has lead, so I chose the alternative by Gamblin. Gamblin's an oil paint brand started by an artist with the purpose of re-creating alot of Old Masters mediums without the toxicity (or to a lesser degree). Flake White Replacement is described as a "warm, ropey white that gives skin tone its glow".It may sounds odd to think of an opaque white that "glows", but it's really true: this flake white replacement is ropey, gooey, thick, and it really glows. It's a pleasure to work with. BUT, I have notices some sinking in, so I've had to add more layers than expected. And the COG is so much lighter than TV. I've decided I prefer TV for the underpaiunting green tones, but the COG is lovely for blending on top of the white, as it has an eery glow to it.
And white FWR is delicious to work with, and settles in nicely, be warned..it continues to settle! And I'm a bit nervous, because the blob on my paint swatch palette has turned a creamy light yellow...so I need to figure out what is going on there! I rarely use whites..while it's the most commonly bought paint for most people, I mix with greys and other ochres and nickels and naples..but for these paintings I need particular white affects..and while I've found the brightest and, in my opinion, most archival whites, I'm yet to decide what will be my warm white of choice. We'll see what further testing of the FWR brings, and while I have Old Holland's titanium white to try out, it just makes no sense to me to use any white with linseed oil, no matter how underfined..and that's the problem with FWR, the linseed oil. So...looks like the next logical choice will be Sennelier's Titanium White, which is made with safflower and whose TW is supposed to be the "most opaque". Not such a fan of just straight "TW", but I'll have to give it a go and see how that pigment settles.

Work In Progress...

2011-05-19T20:41:00.000-07:00

This is a new in-progress painting and where it's progressed since the photo I included in my last post.

2011-05-10T10:49:00.001-07:00

Paintings Update

2011-05-10T10:35:00.000-07:00

Working out details with my printer, but soon I'll have Giclees for sale of the 4 paintings here. Most likely I will offer standard sizes of 16x20 and 18x24 (the smallest painting size is 30x40 after all), but I will offer a custom size option for those who want other sizes. I will also offer a framing package..black wood frame or natural wood frame with UV glass. More details to come! Also working on a few new paintings..the one pictured here with the indigo and burnt sienna background and woman's face that's looking upward is from the live painting session I did recently. It's alla prima in 5 hours..for the style I paint, it's not possible ro finish a painting in that time because I prefer to do layers, starting with an underpainting. I did the best I could to get it finished for the day..now I'm going to add layers and transform it. The woman with the wands and cape will have a similar finish to "Calling in the 4 Wuarters.." the painting with the birds in each corner. Same technique, which is a slightly different take on an Old Masters technique that I'm teaching myself. I guess it's of note to mention that I am self-taught.

Karyn Crisis Solo Album Update!!

2011-04-01T09:37:00.001-07:00

Finally! My solo album is underway! We recorded my vocals for pre-production yesterday in Davide's studio. While still the same spirit, I've undergone tremendous change as a being on this planet, and with this new material I've wanted to express devotion to my magickal arts. These songs are borne from seeds planted in my mind a year ago but have taken me a while to manifest: and we did this with guitars and electronics, which is how I wrote songs before joining Crisis. The result: sonic spells, ritual chants, ghost stories, all confessions of my experiences with one foot in this world and one foot in the next. I've also joined as singer for Ephel Duath! This isn't an April Fools joke.

Oil Painting Update

2011-03-26T19:49:00.000-07:00

After I obsessed with the acryla gouache, I found my way back to my first love..oils. These photos are terrible, but I will have pro photos soon. They all measure around 30" x 40" and 36" x 72". The newest one, with the ravens, is still in progress...

And after the Doll series...

2011-01-15T16:01:00.000-08:00

I felt a bit defeated by oils. So, I took a break from them and took up a new medium: acryla gouache, which is basically an acrylic polymer paint with added chalk-type agents that make the paint super-matte when dry. They also dry quickly as you are using them. The bold,bright color palette is what first attracted me to them. As I began to paint with them, since they dry quickly, they forced me to paint more primitively, and I found this a relief after working hard on oil techniques. So I abandoned photo and lighting references, and just painted from my mind. I attempted to capture they things I'd "see" when I'd use Reiki energy, or how I see angels, or what I'd see on shaman journeys,etc. I painted on printmaking paper, made a few hand sculptures from volcanic ash clay, and made several masks. I also aged some cotton rag paper and began some graphite drawings. I became obsessed with this body of work, which culminated in an open-studio.Most people were scared of the work, but some got it's similarities to tantric art; where one must accept the demon within as half of a whole. The point of the work was to attempt to capture what I see energetically when working with healing energy. People tend to think of "healing" as all white robes and peace and banality. While those things exists, and are a by-product of, the healing process involves facing onesself for all that is there, facing imbalances and hidden memories and possible spirit attachments and all sorts of clumsy, ugly parts of ourself in order to accept them as part of ourselves, thereby forgiving onesself and opening the doors or higher knowledge. To pass through those doors requires one to accept responsibility for the state of one's life...I also wanted to portray angels in their more controversial, but true light: as beings of immense power and terrifying light. They present themselves to us more often than not in visual terms that are not threatening to us, but they are immense warriors in truth.

About one Year Ago...

2010-12-21T13:06:00.001-08:00

Davide set me up in a painting studio. It was far enough away from our apartment that I felt stuck there. This was the point: no distractions, just me battling myself through paintings for 8-12 hours a day. The goal was to learn color, light, shapes, and really grow technically. I started with a concept of painting girls paired with unsettling dolls, using colors I wouldn't normally gravitate towards. I used only oil paint and gradually added amounts of walnut oil. I discovered walnut oil while researching Old Masters techniques. Walnut oil won't yellow whites over time, and it's more fluid than linseed oil. I fell in love with it, and the completed paintings have a phenomenal and uniform texture and glow. However, this process takes a long time, because each layer of paint takes a week or longer to dry. So, it took months to work on these paintings, and though I had many more paintings sketched out with more provocative content, I grew bored...not of the learning process and what I learned, which was alot, but with the final product. While in my opinion they are beautiful and more realistic than anything else I'd painted to date, they were just not haunting enough, not unsettling enough..just not where I wanted to land. And, a habit of mine is to learn as much as possible as fast as possible..and once I feel I've learned the lesson and conquered the battle, I move on. Thus, these paintings were left unfinished as my passion took me onward.

Studio Update...

2010-12-21T10:33:00.000-08:00

Here's a quick peek at part of a new oil painting that measures 36" x 72"...

Karyn Crisis Leatherworks on Polyvore...

2010-10-01T10:28:00.001-07:00

http://www.polyvore.com/steampunk_fightin_sandworms/set?id=3507096

2010-07-16T19:59:00.000-07:00

I know I am Spirit having a human experience. The Spirit part is unendingly interesting for me. It's the human part that I have difficulty with. I realize that in order to experience who and what I am, I have to be here in this body. And in this body is the only chance I have to reach enlightenment...I can't experience enlightenment out of a body..just as I can't experience myself in this set of circumstances on earth anywhere else. But I find so many of the things that are part of this human experience trivial and a waste of time these days: being in this clumsy body, having to earn money to pay bills, working any sort of job that isn't a personal creative expression. The world will say "but that's the way it is, you have to work, you have to do this and that.." but I say, why? Why can't I spend my time being in love and making art and music instead of dealing with commerce?
I believe I'm experiencing this very interesting life of mine so I could reunite with Davide now. And that's what keeps me on this planet, this incredible experience of unconditional love. And I think that nothing should get in the way of that experience. I want to have all the time to share with him all of the time, to love and be loved, to create and express, to experience the human and the spiritual that mean something to us. I don't want to deal with the rot of this world.

Shaman Mask

2010-06-24T22:02:00.001-07:00

"Deeds Of Men" new drawing on coffee stained paper

2010-06-24T21:57:00.000-07:00

New Leather Projects

2010-06-24T21:26:00.001-07:00

Softie Skull Billfold Wallet and Bags..

2010-05-30T22:40:00.000-07:00

I'm also making masks again. Here's a close-up of one. The hair is about 5 feet long..Funny thing happened on the way to oil painting..
My plan this year was to hone my oil paintings skills. Not just "hone," but take them to another several levels. I started by working on some oil paintings (that I'll post pics of soon.) I worked super hard on colors, technique (smoothness of blending), compostition, and concept. However, the concepts fell short. For some reason, the concepts didn't seem as as strong once on canvas, but I surprised myself with technique! However, they just weren't dark enough, didn't have enough to say. They were too polite.

Then I went wild working really large, without any drawings, just attacking the canvas. While those captured the movement and explosiveness I wanted, they still weren't up to part technically.

Then I listened to this weird voice inside my head that'd been saying for months "try gouache paint." Finally, I relented. All the colors were outside of my palette, and I grabbed the ones I was drawn to without analyzing too much. And I started to paint.
They are a difficult paint to work with, very chalky and not blendable...the very opposite of oils. They made me paint in a very primitive way. I was hooked! So I started painting images of my experiences with shamanism, reiki, spirits, etc. It was really free and fun- no photo references, no worries about light source, no perfection, just whatever was in my head. They painted themselves as I lost myself in 9 hours a day or more of just painting 22x30 and larger.

After this open studio, it's back to focusing on oil paintings. I've been working on their concepts and drawings during this primitive painting time. I've been learning all I can about techniques..now it's time to attack the canvas again with my first love: oil !
Oil paints have been my siren song, just like music, since I was a child. They've almost conquered me and driven me crazy, but now it's my turn to make magick...

New Work

2010-05-19T22:59:00.000-07:00

------
Super delayed on updates, but I've been entrenched in my painting studio. Lots of pics to post another day. Quick rundown: painted some new oils with new techniques. I've decided I'll not continue the subject matter, but I hope to apply what I've learned in new oils I have planned that will all be large sizes and very laden with imagery. I have almost completed about 20 acrylaGouache paintings on archival rag paper, 22" x 30" ( like the one pictured above) that I will put up for sale, framed, soon. These will be on display at my open studio in Berkeley June 5th and 6th. I've also got a handful of drawings that will be up for sale as well. Planning the large new oils as well. Whew. Pics soon!

Studio

2010-02-20T12:27:00.001-08:00

Paints, paints, paints. I am obsessed with oil paints. I've been spending a minimum of 6 hours a day painting in my studio. Most days I like to reach for 7-8 hours. I'd like to work at least 10-12. That's my goal. I am almost finished with 3 new paintings. Very different style departure. This year my focus has been to choose a level I want to attain with my painting and figure out how to get there. I'm learning alot, but there's still so much to learn! I have an entire series planned out for this particular theme I'm working on..and then I will start to work on a series I have planned for the other subject matter I wish to express. I'm also wanting to learn how to draw super well. I've always just sketched out my ideas and gathered research in the past, working out the details while I'm painting. Yet, with these new paintings I am taking the time to draw out all details before I paint, so everything is worked out on the canvas with pencil before I begin the underlayer. This sensible technique delays the excitement of just attacking the canvas from the start, but it dramatically changes the painting process for me, allowing so much more control in the long run. No wonder artists do this! Taking much more time with underpainting is also something new for me. One thing I haven't changed is my oil technique. I use no turpentine or chemical substitutes. I used to use linseed oil, but have since switched to walnut oil exclusively. I've learned alot about brushes that work for me, and have since gathered very specific tools for my techniques. I'll post some photos soon!

Spring in the Air

2010-02-20T12:08:00.000-08:00

Spring is peeking through the clouds here and it's making me feel inspired, feisty, electric! It's reminded me of this photo Davide took last summer..and made me think of how much life has changed in one year, two years...As I made a cappuccino to drink, I reflected on how I wasn't able to drink coffee for most of my life. Before I healed my allergies with Reiki (and my husband's love is also a great healer!) , I was not able to eat pizza, drink coffee, have dairy nor tomatoes, never a pastry for breakfast, and eating out was always a problem. I survived on raw veggies, brown rice, seafood, steamed green veggies...yet still I suffered from terrible skin rashes and other allergy symptoms. Now, I can eat anything I want. I told the universe I wanted to eat like normal people, and for the past year I have! More importantly, I asked the universe for my great love, a partner who loves me as I am, someone for me to love as he is, a perfect match..and indeed we are all this together and more. Ask and ye shall receive.

Through My Eyes

2009-11-06T11:47:00.000-08:00

I've made a commitment to myself and my art to fully delve into painting this year. I should say, visual art of all sorts, but specifically I want to take my painting to the next level. Since I made this commitment and started moving things in life to accommodate a lifestyle where my focus is on painting, my mind is flooded with ideas and concrete concepts and series. I decided that seeing an idea is not enough when I try to paint it but can't get it where I want in terms of technicality. So, every painting must really count this year. As I'm working on pieces now, if I can't get something to look the way I want I am studying techniques of the Old Masters, studying other artists to learn how to paint something at the level I want now instead of "waiting" for that technique to develop on its own. I'm already seeing my paintings jump to a new level, so I am excited to see how far I can push myself. Mostly I am focusing on oil painting which is my passion, but I am also exploring inks and acrylic. I have several series of works that I want to do in completely different styles. I will be keeping my blog updated with progress images and reports from my new studio.

Circle the Carrion

2009-08-06T21:58:00.000-07:00

There was a reason I left the music business when 2005 came to an end. It had to do with the bullshit, the horse crap, all the pressures heaped onto musicians by labels and fans and press, all the milestones of success that musicians hope to achieve and measure themselves against....in other words, all the things that have nothing to do with music and everything to do with the business side of things. I'm someone who always has goals, I'm hardest on myself, I demand a lot from myself, and I decided I didn't need to spend the rest of my life trying to fulfill the demands of others. I want to live.

I strive for balance in life, whether or not I can always achieve it is another thing. I spend alot of time in darkness, and therefore I send alot of time in light. I spend time researching topics I know nothing about, as well as researching more material on subjects I'm interested in.I spend time trying to understand, I spend time putting myself in the shoes of others to gain perspective, I spend time practicing peace and acceptance I spend time letting my rage burn and burn. As a business woman I know that the business side of music is a part of the game, but I think there should be some balance within that beast, that machine.

I've decided I deserve to be the owner of my time, and to do with it what I want. At the end of 2005 I wanted to leave the music biz and let it burn itself into a pile of ashes. For it to take its competitive, compulsive self-absorbed self and suck its own ass. I got tired of interviews asking me how I feel about other women in the music biz "making it" bigger than Crisis made it, I got tired of how these people acted that my only purpose in music was to be "the only" woman in heavy music. I was fed up with fat lazy booking agents who issued false promises, playing with other bands who had set lists of all their stage moves printed out while at the same time calling themselves "self made," and I thought Crisis and I deserved much much more...not just because we were one of the first metal bands with a female singer, not just because Crisis introduced alot of emotional landscapes not previously heard in metal, but because we continued to be innovators, hard working warriors offering something creative, profound, and even weird..and most importantly, something authentic and dangerous.

In this modern time where extreme music can now be purchased at Wal Mart along with pre-packaged drum sets and guitars, and people can get voice lessons to learn how to scream and everyone who was into karaoke decided they too can be rockstars by following the formula, music has truly lost a lot of edge.

That's not necessarily why I left the business, that's just my opinion of the scene.
I left because I decided I deserved better than alot of false promises, I deserved better than "big names" in music calling to ask me for dates and inviting me on their buses for drinks but not helping out in terms of tours or shows or something that really mattered. So many "closet" Karyn Crisis fans sucking my dick, telling me what big supporters they were but not putting their support where there pursed lips were. Tired of bullshit, tired of being the mysterious oddity people wanted to get close to ..like some piece of art in a museum they secretly worshiped, and studied, and imitated and plagiarized..and then denied knowledge of to others.
When Crisis opened for Kittie and Otep on tour, all journalists wanted to ask me was how I felt about other women in music getting big, how it felt to be on that tour. Well, I've always been outspoken about how I feel "the more the merrier" in terms of women in music. I've stated many a time that it will take time for women to be accepted in metal, and in the meanwhile let 'em all in, because there exists, in the male bands, plenty who suck, plenty who are genius, some who aren't in top shape, some who are innovators and some who are sheep. So it's natural to be the same for the quality of female musicians.
But what a shit question to ask me over and over. I got the vibe that for those journalists my only value was to be the "first" woman in metal, and since there are other women in metal now I'm obsolete. Further, it was never my intention to be the "first", it just happened that way. I never meant to be a weird, indefinable vocalist that no one yet can imitate, it just happened that way. I never meant to scare people with the power I can summon on stage and I never meant for people to think I was weak because I didn't carry around an ego after shows, instead I was approachable and kind..just being me, just being natural, except for the occasions where some asshole grabbed my ass and I had to twist his balls off or break a nose.

And in return for my support of other women, I didn't ask for reciprocation and I sure didn't get it. For years Crisis fans told me how angry they were that Kittie told them they never heard of Crisis in person, in radio interviews, even on the east coast. When Crisis toured with Kittie however, their parents and friends told us many stories about what big Crisis fans their daughters were, from the beginning, and how they were all fans. Their manager told us, before that tour, that the girls were taking guitar lessons on tour and getting better. Industry people told us that they didn't even play their own instruments on their first album..other people were playing those recorded parts. And this is the category I'm stuffed into just because I'm a female? Opening for some kids who are too afraid to admit that I was their inspiration?
And Otep..I met so many people involved in putting that band together, they told me all the dirty little secrets, like Capitol Records wanted to develop a female fronted Korn, so they got an independent a/r rep to hire/fire band members, to write songs, and put that band together. "evil" J told Crisis that he lived on the east coast during Crisis' reign there and what a fan he was. No surprise there. On the tour we did, they had all their stage moves written out the same, night after night "otep gives crowd finger, j scans crowd, otep pulls out her hair", and oh, there are tons and tons of vocal effects pouring off that stage. They do exist. And they call themselves "self-made"? What's the difference here between the Backstreet Boys and otep? They were put together the same way.

You should've seen the otep singer screaming at the kittie singer when we all had to play on a small stage with no barrier between musicians and fans. That closeness I loved, right in the crowd's faces. I loved the challenge, the unpredictable things that can happen. But otep was screaming at the kittie singer that it was her fault she had to play on a small stage, blah blah. I remember thinking, What are you scared of girl? That people can see your stage moves typed out? That you might not be well-rehearsed in the event that someone in the crowd does something unexpected? Sure, both bands have moved onto imitating other trends, trying to fit in somewhere..politics, fashion,somewhere they can attain credibility.
And this rehearsed, studied crap is the pile I get shoved into because we share the same gender? We definitely don't share the same views on authenticity, music, creativity..I don't have to study other people and other trends to make myself in their image. To each her own, but fuck, don't assume I'm the same shade of fake.

Before I left, I heard "Don't quit, you're just about to get your due, people are finally waking up to Karyn Crisis," blah blah. I didn't get into music to be famous, and I certainly wasn't going to hang around just in case it was about time for whomever these people were who were about to give me my due. I didn't get into music because I heard some other woman growling and decided I wanted to be like her. I got into music because it called to me like a siren song since I was a child. I was a loner, on the outside of everything and everyone. I started working with guitar and bass and a 4 track when I was in middle school. It was how I found my voice, raw and clumsy, screaming alone in a room in NYC, guitar across me, plugged into an amp. It took me a few days to let out a scream, and I was so introverted and shy I had my friends wait behind the door until I could do it on my own. I had no women to imitate, I was just letting out all my horror in a primal scream of empowerment. It was real, embarrassing, powerful, frightening, and something to behold.

I know who I am, I know my worth. My worth exists outside of praise, compliments, record sales, soundscan figures, ratings. For me, music is about risk...and I take it, balls out. But the big-talkers?

So, when I decided to make an album in 2008, I called the one person who had encouraged me to not give up on singing, to keep going, because, in his words, "the music scene really needed me and was awaiting my return."
Originally, we were to make an album together for us, but it grew into something bigger as he became part of a newly formed label who wanted to sign me. It became the Karyn Crisis Solo Album, and plans started to form that entailed bringing Davide into the project to write songs and play guitars, while my other friend would take care of the recording and electronic experimentation. Things started off well enough, but things definitely needed complexity that I hoped would be worked out.
Despite my excitement, in the end I realized the songs were not complex enough, but the potential was there to step things up a notch..the potential was there and had been realized in one of the last songs written. While Davide and I wanted to take things in a new direction, our friend didn't, and in the end refused to work with me, because he said Davide and I weren't capable of writing the songs we needed, weren't capable of making the right decisions, and he was the producer, so his direction was more important than mine.

So, for my solo album, for a record deal with only my name on it, I was to be told what direction I should take creatively. Somehow, his ideas were completely different from mine, even though I had given him a list of bands that I considered inspiration for this album's direction. Needless to say, we parted ways, and I spent one month in Italy travelling with Davide before coming back to NoCal to start a band with him, continue writing songs, and live our life.

I was looking forward to seeing my friends again. Many of them were super supportive of me making an album. They were telling me "the music scene needs you, your voice is missed, so many people would love to make music with you" and all sorts of lovely compliments. So when we arrived and began to look for band members, I thought I could count on them to help me out. Instead, silence..then "everyone's in a band already, no one I know has time, I like the music but I'm busy, I know a drummer you could hire for the album, but no one's available to be in another band, I can't think of anyone." Suddenly all those people wanting to play with me are nowhere to be found. Then there were the interviews with the guys who tell me what their demands are instead of asking what the goals of the Karyn Crisis Band are.

And I'm left thinking.."Do I really want to do this again?" I hear a resounding "yes" whenever I think about making music, and I'm not interested in taking "no" for an answer. However, I'm not sure how I feel about working with musicians again. So far I'm not impressed or inspired about people other than Davide, because I'm not so interested in dealing with flakiness.

My life has been full of suffering and darkness, and now that I've found ways to transcend the suffering and still learn, now that I can be in the darkness but no longer touched by it, I feel charged, poised, and empowered to create again sonically.

I know that since I left the music biz I feel truly free, and this winged creature is not looking to be caged anytime soon.

Life is precious and fleeting, and my life will be lived on my terms. I'm not willing to live life on terms other than this, to beg for opportunities or chances, life is abundant. I am comfortable knowing that my life's path has a plan for me, that there are certain things I may have control over in my life and certain ones I won't, that it's all part of the learning my soul aches for...but I also know that I have faith in myself regardless of whether anyone else does.

We heard a quote the other day" Experience is what you get when you don't get what you want" by a guy who's writing a book about living while he dies of cancer.

I love this quote, because I think the journey is more valuable than the goal. I think experience has value, as does getting what you want. I've had plenty of both.
i've had plenty of experience lately, now it's time to get what I want.
Music will be made, and I can't wait to see what we will be able to conjure as a duo.
For now, it's Davide and I, and that's perfect for me.

Karyn Crisis interview on Scratch The Surface Webzine

2009-07-13T21:42:00.000-07:00

http://scratchthesurface-webzine.blogspot.com/

MONDAY, 13 JULY 2009

Interview with Karyn Crisis

In the entire history of modern music, few bands can claim to have successfully attained a level of artistic innovation and versatility without compromising one iota of their integrity like New Yorkers Crisis. Throughout the early 90’s the experimental metal/hardcore act have gained a cult status in the underground realms of extreme music due to their ferocious and genre-defying onslaught and the disturbing and intimidating voice of Karyn Crisis. Sadly, three years ago while they were writing their fifth record, the band has announced against all expectations their intentions to put the band on halt for an indefinite period of time.
For the second time in their career, Crisis has split-up abruptly with their band members reaffirming their will to pursue other artistic interests.
After the split, vocalist Karyn Crisis moved away from the music business and dedicated herself to different forms of art like painting and photography and even launched her own women's clothing line called Exorsister.
Just recently, Karyn have made public that she was preparing her solo debut album following four albums with Crisis and several participations with other artists. There’s a certain curiosity to find out why Karyn Crisis only now have decided to embark on a solo journey. The first thing we’ve enquired Karyn when we approached her by e-mail was exactly that, why now?

“When I left Crisis, it was to embark on a journey within. My lyrics have always dealt with this concept, the actions it takes to carry each journey out, what the experiences are on the way to finding a catharsis, and documenting the war… in others words, facing one’s demons, pain, trying to understand them and gain some knowledge with which to carry forward and build a better ‘me’. This time, I wanted to find a process that would break through the vicious cycle in life of receiving wound, trying to heal wound, receiving wound again. The creative process alone wasn’t enough to bring me peace at the time. I needed to go much deeper, to test my limits and capabilities as one does on a vision quest. For the majority of the time after I left Crisis, I wanted nothing to do with music, the music business, I stopped going to shows, and I felt at the time that I never wanted to sing again. I equated that world with disappointment and pain and was no longer interested in ‘trying to make it music’ or pursue a life of such sacrifice. I began to ask myself, before the hiatus, «can I ever stop sacrificing and just be? Am I going to spend the rest of my life hoping that at some point I’ll make enough money to be able to have the life experiences I want? Will I ever have the time to do other things I want, like painting and being free from working for someone else»? I was also asking why I was dealing with certain idiots, a booking agency had ripped Crisis off for a good amount of money, we had a manager who was working instead to promote his own band and doing shit for Crisis, and I just realized I didn’t want to deal with fucking morons anymore. There was no point to be congenial and pleasant for the sake of dysfunctional relationships. And interviewers, stop asking me how I feel about, in your opinion, other female fronted bands that are more successful than Crisis and instead ask me about my lyrics, my stage performance, my voice, my vision. I had enough and I decided I deserved much more. At the time of the hiatus, I decided the time was now to make the changes I want, and I wanted my own space, I wanted to step out of the rat race, and I wanted to explore others parts of life. I wanted change, and the change had to begin with me. And after that, suddenly I felt compelled to make music, even though I wasn’t sure at first if I wanted to. It felt like something I was supposed to do with urgency. Everything I do I do with my sense of integrity.”

The album is currently being written by Karyn and Davide Tiso, guitar player of Italian experimentalists Ephel Duath. How did you and Davide get together to write the record and what’s like working with him?

“A common friend of ours introduced us because he knew I was looking for the right people to make my album with. Meeting Davide was fate, a magical once-in-a-lifetime experience. In many ways, personal and creative, we are symbiots, we complete each other. Working with him is exciting, because he’s an incredible songwriter and guitar player who’s always pushing his limits and arriving in fantastic new places. He’s a sonic painter with a dark, haunting, emotive palette. There seems to be nothing he can’t do, and hearing what he creates opens new worlds for me. He is super focused, has an incredible understanding of music, and works fast while at the same time creating profound passages. His songs are more stories, journeys, which is what can also be said about my lyrics and vocal style. What I’m really excited about is that his sense of rhythm is just as fucked up as mine, yet distinct, so as I work my way vocally into his songs, I’m treading uncharted territory, the unknown. At first, the plan was for him to the guitarist and songwriter for the album, but soon enough I told him I wouldn’t want to play the songs live without him. He’s the soul behind those notes and beats, and it would be sad for someone else to be playing them. So then, the plan became not for us to develop my solo album, but for us to create a new band together, the Karyn Crisis Band. He decided that not only would he join me as partner in this creative pursuit, but he’d also join me in day to day life, and we married.”

Do you have other musicians lined-up to play on the record?

“Still looking, we have musicians we like prepared to work session for the album recording, but we’d rather hold out to find the right people who want to continue on as the touring band.”

Where does the new material fit in your discography?
Are there any obvious points of comparison with Crisis or you’re touching new things you somehow couldn’t explore with the band? What can we expect from it?

“It’s a new beginning! Comparisons to Crisis are unlikely, except for my voice, I suppose. Vocally I’m taking up where I left off with ‘Like Sheep Led to Slaughter’, which saw me stretching my voice in new ways anyway. Sonically, musically Davide’s style and finesse are quite different, but have a darkness, a haunting beauty that makes sense for my vocal style. Similarly, his guitar playing is a departure from his band, Ephel Duath. Yet each of us has strong, distinct, unique styles which are our signatures, and carry over into this new music. So, you can expect something difficult to describe.”

Is there any pressure to deliver a strong work knowing how relevant and influential Crisis had become in the underground music scene?

“The pressure to deliver a strong work comes from within us and is not dictated by our histories in music. Everything I do I do with a sense of purpose and integrity that comes from within me. Some people are born angry, others become angry in reaction to their environment. Some people are born with drive to create, even if that creation and expression is not understood by the majority of people, and regardless of positive/negative feedback. I’m born angry, born driven to do things my way, and it’s a mechanism that is internal. Davide is much the same.”

So when is the record due for release? Have you already started to conceive ideas for an album name?

“There’s not a release date yet, it all hinges on when we begin the studio process.”

Crisis never got the chance of completing their fifth record that was in the making before the split-up. Do you think that record will ever see the light of day?

“No.”

More info at: www.myspace.com/karyncrisisband
Photos by: Davide Tiso
PUBLISHED BY SCRATCHTHESURFACE AT 06:58 0 COMMENTS
LABELS: INTERVIEWS, KARYN CRISIS

Karyn Crisis Interview in DECIBEL

2009-07-08T14:45:00.000-07:00

Interview: Karyn Crisis
Posted July 7 by Jeanne F.
http://decibelmagazine.com/Content.aspx?ncid=315473 (for full interview)

When NYC’s mystical metal and hardcore hybrid known as Crisis broke up in 2006 after 13 years together, singer Karyn Crisis firmly believed she’d never make another note of music again in her life. The letters "WTF" seemed ever so appropriate. This was a performer whose vocal calisthenics could turn the Matterhorn into kitty litter, and who would work the stage like the Terminator on judgment day. Her catharsis ripped shit to shreds. And she was cashing in her chips. WTF?

So it was with a combination of relief and giddy excitement that the Deciblog received news that the viciously charismatic Karyn Crisis was returning to music with a new project called the Karyn Crisis Band. This is even better news for any unemployed musician: Crisis and her partner, guitarist/songwriter Davide Tiso, have opened auditions to players all over the world via the band’s myspace page. The Deciblog checked in with Karyn to chat about the end of Crisis, the bullshit of the business, her musical rebirth with the Karen Crisis Band, how to properly respond to a crowd member who cries, “Show us your tits,” and her treacherous dreadlocks.

In an old interview, you said that you “seriously doubt[ed]” that you’d get into music after the demise of Crisis. What changed? How did you decide it was time to embark on a new musical project?

When I left Crisis, it was to embark on a journey within. My lyrics have always dealt with this concept; the actions it takes to carry each journey out, what the experiences are on the way to finding a catharsis, and documenting the war… In other words, facing one’s demons, pain, trying to understand them and gain some knowledge with which to carry forward and build a better “me.” This time, I wanted to find a process that would break through the vicious cycle in life of receiving wound, trying to heal wound, receiving wound again. The creative process alone wasn’t enough to bring me peace at the time. I needed to go much deeper to test my limits and capabilities as one does on a vision quest.

For the majority of the time after I left Crisis, I wanted nothing to do with music, the music business, I stopped going to shows, and I felt at the time that I never wanted to sing again. I equated that world with disappointment and pain and was no longer interested in “trying to make it in music” or pursue a life of such great sacrifice. I began to ask myself, before the hiatus, “Can I ever stop sacrificing and just me? Am I going to spend the rest of my life hoping that at some point I’ll make enough money to be able to have the life experiences I want? Will I ever have the time to do other things I want, like painting and being free from working for someone else?” I was also asking why I was dealing with certain idiots; a booking agent had ripped Crisis off for a good amount of money, we had a manager who was working instead to promote his own band and doing shit for Crisis, and I just realized I didn’t want to deal with fucking morons anymore. There was no point to be congenial and pleasant for the sake of dysfunctional relationships. And interviews… stop asking me how I feel about, in your opinion, other female-fronted bands who are more successful than Crisis and instead ask me about my lyrics, my stage performance, my voice, my vision. I had enough and decided I deserved so much more.

At the time of the hiatus I decided the time was now to make the changes I want, and I wanted my own space, I wanted to step out of the rat race, and I wanted to explore other parts of life. I wanted change, and the change had to begin with me. And after that, suddenly I felt compelled to make music, even though I wasn’t sure at first if I wanted to. It felt like something I was supposed to do with urgency. Everything I do I do with my sense of integrity.

Tell us about the Karyn Crisis Band. What did the preliminary jams sessions with Davide Tiso sound like?

A common friend introduced us, after I told him I wanted to make a solo album. Meeting Davide was fate, a magical once-in-a-lifetime experience. In many ways, personal and creative, we are symbiots, we complete each other. Working with him is exciting because he’s an incredible songwriter and guitar player who’s always pushing his limits and arriving in fantastic new places. He’s a sonic painter with a dark, haunting, emotive palette. There seems to be nothing he can’t do and hearing what he creates opens new worlds for me. He is super-focused, has an incredible understanding of music, and works fast while at the same time creating profound passages. His songs are more like stories, journeys, which is what can also be said about my lyrics and vocal style. What I’m really excited about is that his sense of rhythm is just as fucked-up as mine, yet distinct, so as I work my way vocally into his songs, I’m treading uncharted territory, the unknown.

At first the plan was for him to be the guitarist and songwriter for the album, but soon enough I told him I wouldn’t want to play the songs live without him. He’s the soul behind those notes and beats, and it would be sad for someone else to be playing them. So then the plan became not for us to develop my solo album, but for us to create a new band together, the Karyn Crisis Band. He decided that not only would he join me as a partner in this creative pursuit, but he’d also join me in day-to-day life, and we married.

Your lyrics and delivery have always been straight from the gut, very passionate, and even gruesome at times. Is the KCB going to remain a vehicle for releasing that energy?

Definitely. The cadence of my lyrics morph depending on where I am at the present moment, but no matter what the subject matter, I think they are always identifiably “me.”

How is the KCB different from Crisis? I'm guessing most people will want to know if this is a sort of Crisis 2.0.

KCB is a new beginning. Comparisons to Crisis are unlikely, except for my voice, I suppose. Vocally, I’m taking up where I left off with Like Sheep Led to Slaughter, which saw me stretching my voice in new ways anyway. Sonically, musically, Davide’s style and finesse are quite different, but have a darkness, a haunting beauty that makes sense for my vocal style. Similarly, his guitar playing is a departure from his band, Ephel Duath. Yet each of us has strong, distinct, unique styles, which are our signatures, and carry over into this new music. So you can expect something difficult to describe.

You put a call out through myspace for musicians interested in auditioning for your new band. Why did you decide to open up the auditions to basically the entire world?

To find some new blood beyond the musicians we already know.

What kind of musicians are you looking for? Like, if I were to audition, what should be on my resume?

Touring experience, history in bands, some knowledge-from-experience of the way the music biz machine works, some knowledge of your own strengths and weaknesses.

Do you plan to record a full-length album and tour?

Yes we are writing a full-length and we want to tour as much as possible!

If you were to name a few bands that you’d consider inspirations for the KCB sound, who would they be?

Music and vocals, for us, are definitely not inspired by other bands. In fact, when Davide and I were exchanging ideas at first through email, he’d ask for a color, a short story, some idea or concept for him to create a riff/song around. Music, for us, is meditative in the sense that we are open to the spirits, the aether, and follow those vespers, rather than try to fit into a genre by copying bands.

You’re an absolute inspiration to women in extreme music. People literally didn’t think that a woman could produce that kind of fire and rage so it was extremely satisfying when you got up there and flattened all those misconceptions. What kind of shit did you come up against when you were first starting out?

The metal and hardcore scenes were much more hardcore in those days. Fights would break out easily at shows, and crowds were tougher. Being the only woman in heavy music that male-dominated crowds were seeing/hearing onstage, inevitably I received some “Show us your tits” comments, to which I always replied much nastier, dirtier insults that turned the crowd laughing against the guy who shouted at me. There were a few guys who tried to grab my crotch or threaten me (on stages that were low to the ground, where they were able to get right up in my face), but in those few cases, I used my mic as a weapon and broke a nose, crushed a cheek, and in once case the crowd tackled a guy and ripped all but his jeans off and threw him out of the club. No matter what people thought when Crisis began a set onstage, by the end of the set they showed much respect. Whether or not they understood our strange music, they definitely could indentify with the rage, so there is where we connected.

What albums have you been listening to lately?

Ephel Duath, Colle Der Fomento, Russian Circles, Cult of Luna, Behemoth.

Has your hair ever been responsible for any injuries?

I’ve had a few people tell me that I gave them a welt on the face with my dreads, and I knocked one guy out for the rest of the set when I stage-dove onto him.

If you think you’ve got what it takes to jam with the KCB, email karyncrisisband@gmail.com or through myspace.com/karyncrisisband.

Solo Art Show June 19th in Oakland, CA

2009-06-06T10:56:00.000-07:00

Currently finishing a few new paintings for my solo show at Forthrite Gallery in Oakland, CA for June 19th opening. This will be my first solo show, and I'll be presenting several of the large oil paintings from my former website along with some brand new pieces I'm currently working on. GIANT SQUID will be playing a LIVE SET in the gallery! Come on down...

Karyn Crisis Band Myspace page

2009-05-02T17:30:00.001-07:00

Within a week I should have a new myspace page completed for the Karyn Crisis Band. I will be taking some of the other ones offline, like my karyncrisisleatherworks page and the karyncrisismusic page. I get asked fequently which pages I personally operate, and for this reason I am consolidating. All the pages are fan-run except the Myspace.com/Exorsister and the new Mysapce.com/KarynCrisisBand. The band page will include album updates, new merch, leather bags for sale, and all things regarding music.

Karyn Crisis sings live with Giant Squid

2009-04-25T17:42:00.001-07:00

This footage is me performing live with Giant Squid April 11th at the Gilman Street Club in Berkeley, CA. The song "Throwing a Donner Party at Sea" is off the new Giant Squid album "The Ichthyologist". Myspace.com/GiantSquid. GIANT SQUID RULES!!

Back In Time

2009-03-30T22:31:00.000-07:00

(early February in Tuscany)

Several days ago my fiancee drove me to a very special city for my current journey: Ravenna. We'd already been to see great buildings, castles, churches and sculptures in the likes of Pisa, Florence, Fierene, Castagneto Castellini, Popolonia,and Siena..but Ravenna has been the first city that I've felt a part of, and I really felt a connection with its energy. Ravenna is a place where rituals hang in the air. It bears the stains of spiritual warfare. It's known for the intricate mosaic-scenes that cover the immense walls and domed ceilings of the old churches there, where tombs line the grasses out in the open.

Ravenna feels as if it has an openly realistic view of the "spiritual battle". For example, in many cities in the U.S., churches are austere, blank, plain buildings with a giant cross on top. They display no passion, no personality, little interesting architecture, no history.. while some boast the bizarre non-decorative architecture of the 1970s. In the above mentioned cities of Italy, churches are covered in intricate marble carvings, (sometimes like lace and like the ornate wood carvings of Indonesia with lots of animals and people) ..yet the carvings are anything but placid and idyllic. They display a jumble of life-sized popes and nuns, screaming angels, roaring lions, angry gargoyles, yelling monks, raging birds, and the like: the sculptures are like photographs that have captured moments of serious battle, where the carvings are in the midst of puffing out their chests to keep the "bad", or uninvited spirits away.

Ravenna accepts that all things spiritual contain both light and dark in this world of the relative, because here on this earth we do not live in a vacuum. To deny this is to deny this reality. Even in this modern age, where churches boast themselves to be perfect and above the rest of society, perfection is far from a reality, and in denial of their dark side they do not speak an authentic truth. The most difficult part on the path of a human being is to accept responsibility for one's own life and one's actions resulting in that life. To accept this responsibility is at once the beginning and the end for the human being. What you resist, persists. Accept what you dislike in your life, accept what is shit, accept what does not work in your mind..then use your thoughts to change it, to create it anew, to shape and mold and sing it alive in new ways of your liking. What you imagine, you can manifest. What you try to control, withers and dies. What you believe in will come to pass because when you choose to believe, all your thoughts then words then actions become efforts to make that belief manifest reality. So, be careful what you think, be careful what you believe. Take care of what is in your mind. You are responsible for its output. You are responsible to protect what's inside. Your body is your monument to your life's experience.

This is my battle, as I work my rituals on the beach every morning, summoning all the necessary angels and energies to protect me, my fiancee, my vision, and my life.

Moving Earth and Aether

2009-03-30T22:27:00.000-07:00

(Early February in Tuscany)
My morning ritual at the sea..where the elements come to my feet and our spirits dance together.

KARYN CRISIS T SHIRTS FOR SALE

2009-03-28T19:58:00.000-07:00

KARYN CRISIS T SHIRTS NOW FOR SALE!!

Sizes Avail: S,M,L,XL, Girlie.
Design is 14" wide and 15" tall at maximum.

$21 plus $5 shipping.
Send payment to Paypal account: kcrisisleather@yahoo.com.

Allow 2 weeks for delivery, these are pre-orders.
Design by Lisa Gossler and Karyn Crisis.

Neither in Death do We Part

2009-03-25T19:20:00.001-07:00

25 March 2009. Karyn Crisis and Davide Tiso are married!!! Whoohooo!!!!

Moving the Horizon

2009-03-03T14:22:00.000-08:00

Today has been a day of reflection. While my last post was about the human emotions I let myself feel, this one is in memoriam to all the supernatural support I've received here.
This morning we spent at the sea, as per our usual ritual. And I gave energy back to this great force that has powered me up since my arrival. Glorious day, glorious weather, glorious communion with nature.

Tuscany has been like a honeymoon of sorts...not only for my fiancee and I but also for my new self and the new Crafts I've accepted as part of my Path. This time in this strange limbo-with-purpose has shown me all is possible with my thoughts. I can no longer deny the power of self, the power within, the power of my belief, the power of self-creation.

I'm excited for the days ahead, for the forward movement, for all that's come to pass. I'm excited for moving deeper into myself, accepting my personal power. I'm excited for the seedlings of my new and life-changing album, the blossoming of my new life.

Thanks also to Simone from Savona, Italy for all your support and for meeting up with us during this time. Thanks also for starting the www.myspace.com/karyncrisisfanpage, and to RareNoise.

Deliverance

2009-03-01T13:23:00.000-08:00

I'm coming back to the East Bay 2 months early, and I couldn't be happier. My fiance, Davide, and I have managed to have an incredible adventure together like the nomads we are: supernatural mornings as the sea, midnight visits to monuments like the tower of Pisa and Medieval town of Siena, farting inside the Vatican, the healing of my food allergies of 20 years, explosive passion in the open air, personal triumphs on the way to Rome, the most magical and intimate musical moments by candlelight...

Other than that, Tuscany, and my other so-called "friends" here can go fuck their spineless selves while I laugh at their lack of conviction.
Taking the greatest love of my life out of the picture, I have been abandoned in a guest house in the middle of Tuscan olive country. This means, without my fiancee, I'd be without car, without mobile, without internet, without a way to get food or supplies other than walking for a couple of hours one-way to the nearest grocery store.

Before I arrived, I had invitations from these "friends" to come visit their respective houses in Milan, Tuscany, Ferrara, etc, as thanks for Reiki I'd sent them. I didn't ever ask to be "repaid;" these offers came to me from them at their own volition. Since I've been here, not a single one of them has called to see how I am doing, to see if I need anything, to ask how my life is, being that I rearranged my entire life to come here..all of them full-well knowing I've been abandoned by everyone but my fiancee.

Truth be told, the most important part of this trip for me was to arrive in Davide's arms. Mission accomplished. And I'm so full of joy, I am home. I am so full of love and so loved. So immensely loved..at a time in my life where I finally believe I deserve this galactic love and at a time where my heart is so open I'm capable of giving such galactic love in such a pure way.
He's the one I've been searching for over time and space, and finally we found each other. Perhaps because we're so in love, I've not taken this weird turn of events personally. I like to see the larger purpose in chaos, in messes, even in the lovely victories. When life presents its piles of shit to us, I like to think those shit piles represent opportunity: chances to make choices that tell the world who we are, who we want to be. My choices here have done just that: they prove that I believe in myself, even in situations where people would try to make me believe I am worth nothing. I choose to make choices that protect my vision, my rights, my love, my passion, my moving of energy. As a result, the earth and air and water and aether have made their power available to me. It is in these powers I believe, and in the power of creation within myself.

It's impossible to distinguish my flame. It's infinite. I've even tried to put it out in the past, but it's meant to shine. SHINE BRIGHT, SWEET LIGHT.

ITALIA!

2009-02-05T15:01:00.000-08:00

`Finally, I am in Tuscany, after 3 flight delays, 3 flight cancellations, one added flight and one lost bag of luggage (which has since been recovered) !!! I am so happy and I feel a home. The land is beautiful and looks similar to parts of northern Cali. There is even a nearby town called La California! I go to visit Eraldo's studio tomorrow.

NOMADA

2009-02-02T06:06:00.000-08:00

Last night I arrived to my friend Jackie's apartment in NYC.
We realized how long it's been since I've been to NYC.
This morning I thought about the beginning of 2006, when I arrived in NorCal, and how this last period of living there was the longest stretch of time, since I can remember, when I was still..in one place. During these last few years, I stepped out of my nomadic life and focused on being in the moment. This stillness of movement brought about stillness within me through meditation, guided imagery, metaphysics, Buddhism, Shamanism, Reiki..and along with the ghosts who'd been chasing me for years these new tools brought me back to myself. I sent a call out to the Universe to give me a breakthrough, enlightenment, new paths to take to work through the darkness in a way that would break me free of the vicious cycle that only brought me back to emotional paralysis before. My call was answered...then the Universe sent me a call in return, beckoning me back to music.

So here I find myself in NYC; right now a gateway for me..almost a halfway point between my old life and the new one awaiting me in Italy. The perfect place for reflection. I am so excited to see what magic awaits there...because that magic truly resides in me..and what occurs there has everything to do with what I wish to create within me and without. Time to wander the city streets..Ciao!

Farewell Dear Ghosts

2009-01-30T09:49:00.000-08:00

"Be near me now,
As I die unto myself
Releasing in a flame of gold
And laid to rest by myself.
I open the door of no return
And say farewell to sorrows past
And die unto the light
And die unto the light."

FAQ

2009-01-20T16:21:00.000-08:00

A little update: I'll be moving to Italy the first week of February for an undetermined amount of time!
Until then, I am booked solid for custom leather orders. After this month, I will NOT be taking leather orders for a while, and most of my webstore stock is SOLD OUT. Grab what you can while you can.

I will continue to paint and sell paintings via my webstore and ebay, however. I'll also be starting an art webpage, which I'll get the word out about. Paintings will be available there for sale (the few that haven't yet sold), as well as photos of all my work from the past few years. Just keep an eye here and Myspace.com/Exorsister and Myspace.com/KarynCrisisMusic for details.

I will finally have T SHIRTS AVAILABLE very soon! My best friend Lisa Gossler designed them, AND, I am finishing up METHODOLOGY graphic novel after 10 + years.

AND...we will be posting updates and photos from studio!

New Karyn Crisis Paintings for Sale..

2009-01-16T18:09:00.000-08:00

Two new paintings up for auction on Ebay:>

"The Witch and Her Guides", acrylic and oil on maple board.
"Wielding the Way," special edition painted photo.
To see photos, check out my Albums and go to Ebay:
Search: KARYN CRISIS or use link below:

http://shop.ebay.com/?_from=R40&_trksid=m38&_nkw=karyn+crisis

Solo Album Writing Session Number 2 !!!

2009-01-13T07:56:00.000-08:00

The second writing session has begun for my solo album! Davide Tiso and Eraldo Bernocchi are in studio..and in one and a half days have sent me 1 slammin' completed song and are working on a second!! They are working so fast it's incredible...I have completed lyrics and vocals for 2 songs, and I'm working on a third and fourth. Plus,I'm working on a few vocal-based pieces.

In 2 and a half weeks I'll be in Italy with them, working on pre-production for the month of February and then recording in March...I'm so excited to sing again and to continue my journey in Italy!!!! New beginnings all around.

I'm grinning at life's sense of humor and greater plan: Here I've been working through my own transformation for 3 years..3 being the pervasive number of composition in this World of the Relative. I'm reminded of what I wrote before in a previous posting:
"It's not lost on me that we are a triumverate, and it's not lost on me the power and significance in that number. As each human being is a three-fold being, we are each three-in-one, you could say, in this world of Relative: body,mind,spirit; id, ego, superego; here,there, the space in between; conscious, subconscious, superconscious;past, present, future; energy, matter, antimatter; phyiscal, the non-physical, the metaphysical: Eraldo, Davide, Karyn..the POWER is here..."

And as I think of that posting, I look inward and realize that my 3 year journey has brought me in a circle, as life does..whose starting point now is the one I left behind 3 years ago: My voice in Music. Further, I realize each year of those 3 I worked on a third of my self's composition: my mind, my body, my spirit...Getting my house in order, so to speak. I didn't expect to be spit back out into the world..or even the world of music again! I was content journeying my desert alone, then starting up my leather business again working alone, painting alone..then Reiki found me and I received my attunements and WOW, I was ushered back into the world, and lives of people, with eyes that behold so much more now in those around me, in this world, and in the aether...During those 3 years my greatest wish was to go to the Amazon and study with Shaman and become awakened to the secrets of life. Life told me, however, that my place was here, this was no time to hide..and yet I still received my "Shaman experience wish", only in different form..part of my wish took place in a forest indeed, albiet the Redwoods, and with a Shaman, with 3 Reiki Masters, and ALL preparing me for this year, 2009..9 being the number of COMPLETION.

Like the Phoenix Bird I've so loved since I was a child, I find myself completing a circle, rebuilding from my own ashes, beginning again...From the Self all things spring forth: We are blessed with the creative power to command "I AM, I BECOME, I BELIEVE".

Tenacity is when you follow your heart--when the whole world is screaming to get back into your head.-Sonia Choquette

2009-01-02T00:49:00.000-08:00

from "Blessings, Prayers and Declarations for a Heartful Life" by Julia Cameron.

I am blessed by my own tenacity. I contain an inner reservoir of gritty strength, which serves me and others well. My capacity to stick to a commitment is a safe and trustworth component of my character. My tenacity is the building block for my successful career, relationship,family life, and friendship.

Obstacles test me but they do not deter me. I am able, always, to tap an inner resilient strength which serves me. Even when life is a desert, I find my careful way. Like a camel, I carry within myself stamina and the wisdom to use my energy wisely for the long trek.

I am a creature of miraculous endurance. My will and my grounded passion form the basis for my tenacious movement through life. I bless my tenacity for its important, unsung heroism.

Il Fuoco di Sciocco, "Fool's Fire"

2008-12-29T23:25:00.000-08:00

I remember cold hollow days,
Alone in my cage,
Observing the world passing me by
Full of life and love
And I, as a bird in a cage,
Withered away…

When I managed to spread my wings
And for moments fly free, there were always vultures circling,
Waiting to devour my beauty.
I sacrificed myself to them,
Over and over again..

That was then.

I Left that bird behind, in that gilded cage,
Cowering in the shadows, Good as dead,
With an open door that might have well been a wall;
For that bird wore my pain, as if skin and feathers of lead.

I was a caged bird, because I allowed myself to be..
To experience the opposite of me.

That was then.

Now I walk through fire.
That bird has been freed, and I fly out of this world and back again;
I am in this world but not of it.
I walk through fire, and I’ve got the power.

I gave you a gift of energy, an act of love.
I held your weary head in my hands,
Awash in light of a universal embrace..and after
this still your fear wants to control me.

In you I see those vultures circle,
in you a phrase that pertains to ordinary people:

When “they” say people don’t appreciate what they get for free
“they” know what they are talking about.

And still I fly free.

To Owe and to Own, To Have and to Hold: Dovere e Possedere, Avere e Tenere; Devoir et posséder ,Avoir et se tenir

2008-12-20T10:14:00.000-08:00

One of the most important truths about this life in the world of the Relative is..I OWE YOU NOTHING...and even more important, it's verso..YOU OWE ME NOTHING.

The first half of this truth is shocking to our human senses not because of it's direct statement, but of the reverse implied: THAT NO ONE OWES US. Instead of dancing with joy to the freedom of the first part of this truth, the self-serving human mind prefers to grab and hold onto whatever control it can try to have over another: You Owe Me. This takes away our own responsibility for our own unhappiness and places blame on another.

Isn't the human mind grand? To rather forsake its own freedom in attempt to own the freedom of another. Examine human behavior throughout history: whether political, domestic, romantic: the human goal is most often to control another human, to have and to hold someone else, even if that means to have a caged bird with tied-up wings, all the while "admiring" it's withering beauty..because in its death it is no longer a threat to our own emptiness, our own fear that we will never be as beautiful and as free.

Another great truth in this life: WE BELONG TO NO ONE, NO ONE BELONGS TO US. And at the same time, we all belong to each other in the infinity beyond this earthplane. To Have, To Hold, To Owe, To Own: these are all restrictive actions that disallow newness and the abundance of life into our selves.

The only "thing" we truly own in this life are our Choices. As it stands, we choose to be in this life because our souls choose to experience ourselves outside of just simply knowing. Each soul on its own path: some seemingly trapped in vicious circles, some breaking through life after life..it's not for us to judge the correct path for each soul. However, freedom is within grasp by exercising the Power of our Choices. Our Choices allow us to create our world: from our thoughts, emotions, words, actions, beliefs, we choose in order to create the life we want.

This brings to question the isolation of being an individual human outside of the glorious infinity we join after death: It's for us to experience that no one can save us, no one can fill up the void within, no one can make us happy in a lasting way, no one can solve our problems: only we can do this unto ourselves. Further, that we can become complete unto ourselves. What better opportunity in life than to CHOOSE to create our lives the way we want them to be, and to CHOOSE to be our own heroes? You want a certain experience in this life? Well...go CREATE it!

Ennead: Casting Out Nines

2008-12-14T23:44:00.000-08:00

In every ending is a beginning.

The first writing session for my solo album has reached its end, and subsequently a new starting point. 9 songs have been written by Davide and Eraldo, and each one is an amazing story unto itself; a testament, a monument, a documentary of the struggles and wars waged to overcome all odds arriving at last at empowerment. They are the songs of brave warriors standing in the glow of a most brilliant sunrise after winning the war. For me, these songs represent the very process to which I am so devoted: taking the bold journey within, keeping an open heart, and being true to oneself...and in the end, these songs represent the very best of all three of us.

To say it plain, these songs are fucking brilliant.

Emotion is energy in motion, and these songs pulsate and vibrate in immense emotion. They are paintings, incredible emotion poured into sound, dreamscapes for me to dive in and travel with my voice. In Crisis, I likened the music to mountains, and I was the climber. In this triumverate, I am an equal part, finding a deeper journey that involves melding into the music, becoming entangled..a dance of sorts. And it's glorious.

The Number 9 is the number of COMPLETENESS and old cycles ending. It is the first composite "lucky" number. Nine is strongly associated with the Chinese dragon, a symbol of magic and power.In the Christian angelic hierarchy there are 9 choirs of angels.There are nine circles of Hell in Dante's Divine Comedy...and at the fountainhead of all this is me: Scorpio, sign of Transmutation and Transformation. How appropriate for this ending whose beginning has now arrived for me to write my vocals for these songs, which will transform and transmute them further through the power of word.

La Libertà Di Amore

2008-12-14T08:14:00.000-08:00

Love has been perfected among us in this: that we may have boldness in the day of judgment...There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves torment. But he who fears has not been made perfect in love....1 John 4:17-18 17

Giudice e Giuria

2008-12-12T08:34:00.000-08:00

I've been going through an important purification these past days, a final frontier, if you will, of reclaiming myself. I've been releasing the last bit of scar tissue from my past, saying goodbye to lessons learned that I no longer need, forgiving everyone who hurt me.

Since these "final frontier" feelings are related to my history in music, I began to think about why I left the business in the first place: it's the same reason I left relationships behind that didn't work for me--people thinking they own me.

The irony of music, for me, was in my expression and the perception. My actions are about opening my soul in earnest attempt at catharsis..opening myself naked and raw, and my art and photographs also represent this struggle, this shamanic journey to break free from these earthly illusions, to go deep within.
For me the irony here is that in this pure offering, I've experienced people who have decided they know who I am and what I think based on their perception from afar, never having asked me any questions nor taken the time to get to know me. As a a result, my various "owners" change direction in their feelings for me from adoration to condemnation based on their judgement of their perception of me. My actions follow my sense of integrity, which is to do what is natural to me. And when these natural actions are disapproved of, suddenly I've fallen from some state of grace I've never elected myself to.

I've come so far from that time when this would bother me. The stalkers, the haters..I have so many friends who began as fans that I choose to embrace the beauty of human nature here and forgive the other desperate version. For me, this album was a choice of something that had to be done for my own empowerment..I never expected so much support and lovely energy coming from people who are happy to hear me sing again. Those "fans" are more, they are a community, fellow seekers, there's an offering of communion, exchange of thoughts and ideas, back -and -forth-conversation. And isn't that what art is all about anyway..making us think and discuss? This, of course, requires honesty. Hiding behind insecurity and heated words only reveals a fear of change, a need for comfort zone, a loss of sense of place and self.

This time around, I see through all the artifice and my vision is completely different. I see this odd parade as a sad trail of hurting souls who are looking for someone else to fill them up. Energy vampires who only see their own needs.This of course, describes only the element who think they own me. I feel compassion. I forgive.More than that, I embrace the tribe around me with no expectation, only joy. It will wax and wane for sure,as life here in this world of relative is impermanence.

I am no longer broken, there are no cracks in my shell. Beware, only a Warrior of Light lives within.

I am deeply, madly, crazy in love

2008-12-07T09:39:00.000-08:00

WE ARE ON FIRE

2008-12-06T00:00:00.000-08:00

The songs keep coming, every day, one more powerful that the next!! Dont' even try to formulate a preconceived notion about the magic we are creating..so many suprises..I am addicted to these songs, they are like glorious burning blood rushing through my veins. I AM SO FUCKING HAPPY. WE ARE ABLAZE.

THE POWER IS HERE..

2008-12-03T18:25:00.000-08:00

I just received my Mac book today, got my Mbox 2 a few days ago..just waiting for one more component to arrive. Machines and machine parts have taken over my desk. Luckily they are quite tiny. This will allow me to begin sketching out the vocal ideas I have via proTools. I'm am so fucking ready for this! This modern primitive has joined the world of modern technology...

More importantly, my writing team Eraldo and Davide are seriously working the magic in Tuscany!! So far they have sent me two tracks and they ABSOLUTELY SLAY. If my heart and soul could break open and speak, this is EXACTLY what thir stories would sound and feel like: there is darkness and light, and haunted delicate sounds, and heavyness and fire and lightning and sorrow and mystery. AND, this is JUST THE BEGINNING!

It's not lost on me that we are a triumverate, and it's not lost on me the power and significance in that number. As each human being is a three-fold being, we are each three-in-one, you could say, in this world of Relative: body,mind,spirit; id, ego, superego; here,there, the space in between; conscious, subconscious, superconscious;past, present, future; energy, matter, antimatter; phyiscal, the non-physical, the metaphysical: Eraldo, Davide, Karyn..the POWER is here...

..As I die unto myself..

2008-11-27T20:50:00.000-08:00

Something in the air today has reminded me what I felt the week of my birthday--that my New Year has already begun.As as I jogged today I took in all the scenery around me,and I found myself thinking about how far I’ve come since I moved up here almost 3years ago. That journey’s purpose was to find out what I was made of all on my own and to find some hope once again. That journey has completed itself and I’m onto a new one. As such, I’ve I realized I feel myself, in this season of fall, saying goodbye to what’s around me..I’ll be moving on from this place and into a nomadic lifestyle again…

To burn myself down then be born again…

The fires of purification are not about “cleaning” oneself in a puritanical fashion, but letting go of comforts and artifice, including one’s pain, turning the voices in one’s head around into friend from foe. To burn in the fire and see what parts of self are left afterwards, then to begin again, realizing that all choices I make are declarations of who I AM and who I want to be.

Some of my wishes when I moved to NoCal: to find out what I’m made of all on my own, to fight down my demons in the proverbial desert and cast them off forever, to go to jungle in south America and study with shaman, to reach enlightenment or some sort of breakthrough out of the vicious cycle of the phoenix, to have positive people come into my life to whom I could give back, to be released of the darkness that has haunted me since I was a child so I can examine it without suffering its disabling grip.. .and I received all my wishes in one form or another.

Since I was a child, I wanted so much to have a little place called home, with a warm lamp to read by, yet it’s never come to me. My life once again seems determined to remind me that my home is within myself.

“The crisis consists precisely in the fact that the old is dying and the new cannot yet be reborn. In this interregnum, a great variety of morbid symptoms appear” -Antonio Gramsci, "The Prison Notebooks.”
I remember finding this quote in a photo book at photographer Richard Hobbs' apartment. I was working on Crisis’ “8 Convulsions” album artwork at the time and was looking for something..something that said it all. When I opened Richard’s book, the first page showed a black ann white photo of a cemetery, with Antonio’s quote underneath it. The words hit me so hard, I immediately screamed “That’s it!” and copied down the quote. (And then later read his book).

Now that the oldness within me has died, and the huge amount of morbid symptoms have disappeared in the light of my rebirth, I am excited at the endless choices I am now making to create my life from this point onward...

My World Of Earth and Aether

2008-11-27T20:42:00.000-08:00

I've finally slayed this beast of a painting. It's the first large-scale acrylic painting I've done in quite some time. After the lovely and hypnotic blendability of oils, it's been difficult for me to accept the rigid quality of acrylics. Of course I like that they dry much faster, so between layers of paint I don't have to wait days and days until I lay down the next. During this painting, though, I began to accept them for what they are and learned to like the fact that translucent layering can be done without mediums even.

Throughout my music and art career I've delved into both worlds of light and dark, and I believe in order to know one's true essence, one must experience the opposite of what one is. The yin and yang, earth and aether, light and darkness..these dualities exist in each one of our souls and much of my lyrics have documented my journeys into these worlds. This painting represents my dualities and the doorway through which I can leave them behind.

Painting is 16" x 20" on canvas stretched over 3/4" wooden stretcher bars.

Completed 24th November, 2008.

Welcome to my Blog...

2008-11-13T00:35:00.000-08:00

..So Welcome to my Blog..My website (www.KarynCrisis.com) is down for a while until I can update it...which it sorely needs. For now, I'll be writing updates here and on my Myspace pages: Myspace.com/KarynCrisisMusic and Myspace.com/Exorsister. BIG NEWS coming tomorrow..For tonite I am trying to get away from this computer and get back to working on two more acrylic paintings..Sweet dreams...

"Labyrinthine" acrylic painting for sale

2008-11-10T16:28:00.000-08:00

I've just completed this new acrylic painting, "Labyrinthine". I painted it on Canva paper, which is an acid-free archival paper with a thicnkess similar to Bristol Board. It's been texturized to resemble linen. Back in my middle-school years, acrylics were may favorite paints, and at times I globbed them on for texture, since they hold their thick shape so well. I'd even paint using paintbrush stems and ballpoint pens. I got into oils in high school and loved the mysterious quality the colors have and the blendability. I began working with watercolors (the ones in tubes) when I started the "Methodology" graphic novel. The only oil painting I did in the 1990s was on my painted black n white photos. "The Contract" was the first oil painting I'd done in years. So, now I'm trying to get into acrylics again. I find them difficult and stubborn after working with oils for so long..at the same time, they dry fast and you can layer as much as you want without worrying about the "fat over lean" rule of oils. My camera definitely doesn't capture the subtleties of color, unfortunately!For more detailed photos of this painting, go to www.Myspace.com/Exorsister.It's on sale on EBAY.com. Go to Ebay.com and search:Karyn Crisis, or use link:http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&ssPageName=STRK:MESELX:IT&item=320317577480.

"Squaring the Circle"

2008-11-10T16:07:00.000-08:00

"Squaring the Circle" is a concept I became fascinated with when I was studying Sacred Geometry. The first version of this painting focused on the concept via one of the mathematical formulations for "squaring the circle", which is the idea of Oppopsites being One at the same time (yin and yang, the meeting of heaven and earth..) After my Reiki I attunement, I tried to sell this painting, but it didnt' sell. This was the first painting I put up for sale that didn't end up selling! Then I received a "message" that the painting wasn't completed...and as I sat looking at it for days on end, I realized the focus of the painting, for me, shifted to the concept of "opening" to enlightenment,and I therefore reworked it to reflect not the mathematical representation of two becoming One, but a representation of the actual "process" of this happening, which I now understood from personal experience.
The "blue" verison is the BEFORE and the gold, more Byzantine style version is the AFTER. I do want to find a way to use the original "blue" color again, though.For more detailed pictures of this painting you can visit: www.Myspace.com/Exorsister".

Paintings I've sold since 2007...

2008-11-07T21:48:00.000-08:00

As this year is coming to an end, many projects I've had in the works for a while are coming to fruition. So I took a look back at the paintings I've made and sold since 2007...and I think how ironic that I almost gave up painting at the end of 2006 and into 2007 because I found it so frustrating. I could see the paintings in my mind, but attempting to give birth to them on the canvas was so damn difficult...like a math problem. I remember getting so angry that I couldn't "figure out" how to paint..because painting for me had always been something that happened when I "plugged into" the moment of "now"; it just happened, like channelling, and I didn't have to "figure out" any part of the equation. One day I had a breakthrough regarding a dry brushing technique that became the solution to my previously "unsolvable math problem", and painting became effortless again. I've got a lot to learn still, but now at least the painting is happening, as is the growing and learning, and that's what's important; not the outcome, but the journey..In fact, I always think I'm not being productive enough. When I take the time to look back I see this isn't true; yet the bigget picture still is that no matter how productive you are, it will never be enough. You will never know everything...and in the end, it doesn't even matter. These matters are but tiny human worries that distract us from larger joys. It's all about the journey...

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